


keep you safe (forever and ever)

by sammysummers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kid Avengers, Kid Fic, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Endgame, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:55:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22592884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammysummers/pseuds/sammysummers
Summary: Tony Stark was supposed to be retired. He was supposed to be relaxing. He definitely wasn't supposed to be doing anything that might put stress on his heart.But when had anything ever gone the way it was supposed to?Tony's fairly sure this is all part of Fury's master plan to kill him. So he enlists the help of one Spider-Baby and prepares to be a glorified babysitter to his de-aged teammates for a couple of days (read: however long Fury needs).He's definitely not their father. And Peter isn't their brother. And they're not a family.Tony just needs to keep telling himself that.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), James "Rhodey" Rhodes/OC, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Comments: 81
Kudos: 274





	1. the last place we left off

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone!!  
> i'm so excited to share my writing with all of you. this is my first story- i'm planning to make it fairly long. my plan right now is around thirty chapters but that might change as time goes on.  
> i don't own anything. i wish i did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title inspiration and song rec is set the fire to the third bar by snow patrol.

Tony Stark was officially retired. 

After the final battle with Thanos, he had hung up his Iron Man gauntlets for good and announced to the public that while he would still be creating new tech for them, he would also be taking a step back from the public eye in order to place less stress on his heart. 

Doctor’s orders.

Well, not really, but Dr. Cho had said that by all laws of nature the power from the Infinity Stones should have killed him, so Tony figured that was a good enough reason to treat himself to some rest and relaxation, with the people he cared the most about.

But Pepper had broken up with him and gotten with Bruce (Tony still cared for both of them deeply, but it was just too hard to be around them at the same time), Happy and May had finally stopped dancing around their feelings and become official (which meant that Tony was no longer allowed to make comments about May, but he barely ever saw them anymore anyway), and Rhodey was busy with his family (Tony definitely wasn’t jealous or anything). So he ended up spending most of his days by himself, which was completely fine with him. It was easier for him to focus like that anyway.

At least, that’s what he told everyone around him. But weekend after weekend, Peter showed up, with his overnight bag and at least three hours’ worth of stories.

Tony always got excited when Friday rolled around, but it wasn’t like he would ever tell anyone that. He was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to like spending time with someone half your age this much, even more sure that you weren’t supposed to watch shitty movies with them and let them fall asleep on you, and one hundred percent sure that you weren’t supposed to wish they were your actual kid.  
Not that Peter made Tony feel any of those things, obviously.

And despite what Tony told himself, it didn’t stop him from running his hands through Peter’s hair as they watched Star Wars for the millionth time.

So, yes, you could say that Tony Stark was happy. And if not happy, then at least content. More content than he had been in a long time. (Of course it wasn’t only because of Peter. That would be ridiculous.)

In hindsight, he should have realized that it was too good to last.

Tony and Peter were down in the lab on Saturday afternoon, working diligently on a robot for Peter’s science fair when they got the call. Tony took one look, sighed, and set down the hammer he had been using. “Gently tap that piece on, Underoos. I have to take this.” 

“Stark!” boomed Nick Fury from the phone. Tony rolled his eyes and Peter stifled a snort. 

“To what do I owe your pleasure, Mad-Eye Moody?” 

Fury scowled. “I have no idea who Mad-Eye Moody is, and I really don’t want to know.” Tony grinned at Peter, who had straightened like he was about to delve into an explanation of Hogwarts.

“So to what do I owe the pleasure of getting to talk to you?” 

Fury sighed. “There’s been a situation.” 

Tony frowned. “Like a bad situation?”

“Yes, like a bad situation, Stark! When have I ever called you to tell you something good? We’re not friends!”

“I wasn’t aware you had any friends.”

“Stark, I swear to-”

“Hey!” Peter interjected. “Hey, Mr. Fury, sir, what’s the issue? Uh, Tony and I are ready to help if needed.”

“Leave me out of this, Spider-Baby,” Tony said, easing himself back into his chair. “When I said I was done with the whole superhero gig, I really did mean it.” 

“Excuse me!” Fury interjected. “I’ve now been on the phone with you for five whole minutes, which is five minutes longer than I ever wanted to talk to you, trust me. But I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. It has to do with your old teammates.”

Tony felt a rush of guilt. Of course, he cared about all of them, but he wasn’t proud to admit that after they had gone back to saving the world and he had gone back to his lab, he hadn’t tried to stay in contact at all. He had talked to them a few times, but more often than not he just didn’t feel like responding to the messages they sent on their group chat. He told Peter he kept in touch with them, though. No sense in making the kid worry about him. “Okay, so what’s up with them? Are any hurt?” 

Fury paused. “That’s not the description I would use, exactly.” 

“So what is it, then?” Tony could already feel a migraine coming on. 

“All the Avengers have been turned into children.” 

“What?”

“Children, Stark. Little humans.” Tony bit down on his tongue.

“Well, how many of them?”

“I already said all of them! Why the fuck do you never listen?” 

“As shocking as it might seem, it’s a little hard for me to wrap my head around, David Bowie.” 

Fury’s good eye twitched. “Look, Stark, there are currently eight Avengers who are now children. And, as there is nowhere else to put them, you are now their new guardian.” Peter would have laughed at Tony if he hadn’t been worried the older man might have a heart attack right then and there. Sure enough, Tony immediately began sputtering.

“Fury, I am not a fucking babysitter! I do not have the time or the means to take care of eight children!”

“You’re a billionaire, Stark, and it’s not like you seem to have much to do these days anyway. I suggest you figure it out. We need to run some tests, so you have a week to prepare. Someone from my team will email you all the details shortly.” With those parting words, Fury disconnected the call. 

“Wait- shit!” Tony yelled. “I don’t even know who the kids are! That bastard hung up on me!” He jumped up from his chair and began to pace around. 

“It’s probably like Miss Natasha and Mr. Hawkeye and Mr. Rogers and all of them,” Peter volunteered. He seemed completely calm, as if adults that he knew and worked with got turned into children on a regular basis. 

“Shit,” Tony muttered. “Shit, shit, shit! This is abso-fucking-lutely the worst thing that has ever happened to me, hands down. No fucking contest.” 

Peter looked wounded. “You do know that I turned into dust, for, like, five years, right? Are you saying you didn’t miss me at all?” Tony ignored him.

“I can’t take care of anybody else, Pete! I can’t even take care of myself, for God’s sake. What the fuck am I going to do with eight kids?” Tony sank into his chair and put his head in his hands.

“It’ll be okay, Mr. Stark,” Peter said finally. “Look, you saved the entire universe, but you’re going to give up when it comes to taking care of a few kids? It won’t even be for very long, just until they can figure out how to reverse it.” 

Tony finally looked up. “Okay.”

“Wait, did I really convince you that easily?”

“I wasn’t convinced. I just realized that I don’t seem to have a choice, and I would rather not be completely unprepared when Fury brings over the kids. Because I know him, and I know he’ll just drop the kids off and leave regardless of what I say. And you’re definitely helping me. Think of it as parent training. I’m actually doing you a favor, right?” The blood drained from Peter’s face.

“Mr. Stark, I’m sixteen years old! I can’t be their father!”

“You’re right,” Tony said. Peter exhaled. “You can be their big brother then.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. Pete, please.” Tony hated that his voice was starting to tip into begging, but he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to do this alone, and it wasn’t like he really had many people he could ask at the moment. As expected, Peter heaved a giant sigh and then relented.

“Fine, I’ll help. But I put my foot down at changing any diapers.” 

Tony thought about it. “Deal.” 

Peter reached over and they shook hands before a look came over Tony’s face that was not unlike a deer caught in headlights.

“Wait- Pete- I thought Fury said that they were all kids. There aren’t actually going to be any diapers involved, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be figuring out an update schedule soon and letting you guys know.


	2. i'm not meant to play this part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and i'm back with another chapter! this one has mentions of child abuse, specifically sexual. it's nothing too graphic, but please read with caution. 
> 
> chapter title inspiration is from the song reflection in mulan.

august fourteenth

Tony was already tired, and the kids didn’t even show up for another five days. 

He had spent the better part of his morning with Peter, reading the files that Fury had sent over and trying to figure out how to best prepare. Peter didn’t usually stay for longer than the weekend, but it was summer break and May, who seemed to have been looking for an excuse to spend some alone time with Happy, had been more than cooperative when Tony phoned to ask if it was okay with her if Peter stayed for another week or so.

“Hey, Mr. Stark, where are we going to put the kids? No offense, your penthouse is like the nicest thing I’ve ever seen, but there are only three bedrooms and I don’t think all eight kids will fit in one.” 

Tony was barely listening. “So, there are eight of them, and Thor is the oldest. Wanda is the youngest. And then there are six in between- fuck, I can’t do this.”

“Mr. Stark! First of all, you’ve said that like five hundred times in the last twenty minutes. Second, we have actual problems we need to solve. Preferably soon, cause I’m hungry.” 

Tony sighed. “If you’re hungry, just get up and get a snack.” Peter jumped up and began rooting around in a cabinet before emerging with a bag of Goldfish. “And yes, I have already considered the housing issue.”

“Oh, cool. So are you planning to add an addition to the penthouse or what?” Peter’s words came out slightly garbled as he crammed more food into his mouth. 

Tony grimaced. “Not exactly, no. Actually, Pete, I was thinking about maybe… moving?” He held his breath and waited for Peter’s response.

“Really?”

“Not far away!” Tony said hastily. “Just into a house… with more room for kids.”

Peter grinned. “Mr. Stark! That’s so awesome! I’ve always wanted to travel!” 

“Wait, are you serious right now?” Tony asked incredulously. “You’re actually okay with this?” 

“Uh, yes!” Peter fairly shouted. “I’ve never lived anywhere other than a city, and I’ve never lived in an actual house, you know? Now I kind of hope the team stays little forever!”

“Don’t even start, Underoos. The sooner the team goes back to normal, the better. Bonus points if Fury figures out a way to solve the problem in the next five days so we don’t have to play happy families.”

Peter only smiled harder. “Can we get a house with a pool? And a big yard?” 

“We’ll see. I don’t even know where we’ll move to.”

“Colorado!” 

“Pete, what do you know about Colorado? Also, I think your aunt might kill me if I took you far away again.”

Peter shrugged. “Okay, nothing, but it sounds cool. And actually, I think she would be happy for me. I always talked about leaving New York one day. Plus, I would still talk to her every day and she has Happy now, so I wouldn’t feel bad about not being here for her.”

Tony sighed. “Maybe. How about you start looking at houses in Colorado, then?”

Peter’s eyes tripled in size. “Wait. I get to pick the house?”

“No,” Tony corrected. “I get to pick the house, but I don’t feel like doing a lot of research, so I’ll pick from the ones you show me.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark!” Peter grabbed a StarkPad and began typing away. 

“Honestly, kid, just call me Tony.” 

“Mm.” Peter was already engrossed in his house hunt.

“Oh, and there’s no price limit. Obviously.”

“For once, I’m happy you have a shit ton of money.”

“Language, Underoos. And what do you mean for once? You literally wear a multi-million dollar suit on the daily.”

“Whatever.”

Tony smirked and went back to his perusal of the files Fury had sent. As he read, bits and pieces jumped out at him. 

Malnourished.

Refusal to speak.

Unnaturally compliant.

Obvious signs of sexual abuse.

Neglect.

Nightmares.

Tony dropped his head into his hands. What the hell had happened to his team?

august sixteenth

Tony was starting to feel a little better. 

A house had been chosen that both he and Peter were satisfied with. Like Peter had wanted, there was a pool and a large yard, along with a patio. Tony figured that eight bedrooms would be fine- a few of the kids would have to share, but with a little luck that wouldn’t be too much of an issue, and then he and Peter could each have their own room. The rest of the house was modern and clean, and Tony had paid for it upfront without even glancing at the price tag. 

As soon as Pepper had found out what was going on, she had insisted on helping out as well. She immediately hired a large team of people to clean the new house from top to bottom, as well as set up all the furniture that Tony had had shipped over, and she had even been able to hire someone to go and buy all of the other household items that they would need. 

Things were really coming together. Over the last two days, Tony had done almost everything on his extensive to-do list.

Packed all of his bags and made sure his private jet was stocked with kid-friendly snacks, movies, and games? Check.

Bought every parenting book off of Amazon and forced Peter to read them too? Check.

Googled the extremely small town that they were going to be living in and memorized the layout? Check.

Ordered the entire children’s clothing section of several different brands, including H&M, Tea, and J. Crew, and had all of that sent to Colorado, where another team of people would wash, fold, and put them in dressers and closets, courtesy of Pepper? Check.

So really, Tony didn’t know why he was feeling so nervous. Yes, some of the kids had issues, but so did Tony. It wasn’t like they would be too hard to deal with.

“Hey, Pete?” 

Peter looked up. “Yeah?”

“Should I pack JARVIS so we can set him up there? I should, right?”

Peter thought for a second. “Honestly, Mr. Stark, I don’t know. The files said that the kids don’t remember anything about their adult life, right? So they might be scared of him.”

“True. How about I bring him, and then we have him just in case?”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Peter said. “Also, I need to go home and pack at some point, Mr. Stark.”

“Peter!” Tony fairly shrieked. “You haven’t packed yet?”

Peter gave him a weird look. “Uh, no. We still have three days.” 

“Two,” Tony corrected. “We get the kids on the third day.”

“Fine,” Peter muttered. “I’ll pack later.”

Tony shook his head. “No, you’ll pack right now. Call Happy and have him take you to your apartment, and then come back here when you’re all ready.”

“I think Happy’s already at my apartment,” Peter said, his face turning red with the implication. “It’s fine, though. I’ll just take the subway there and then have him drive me back.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Tony said. “Do you have money for the subway?”

“Yes.”

“What about extra money in case you need something?”

“Yes, but I’m not going to need anything.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to drive you?”

“No, Mr. Stark! I take the subway all the time, I’ll be totally fine.” Peter started heading towards the door.

“Wait! Do you need suitcases?”

Peter turned. “Actually, that would be really helpful.”

“On it!” Tony jumped up and then came back with four fist-sized cubes. “I invented them. They’ll expand when you tap the circle on top.”

Peter took them and jammed them into his backpack. “Thank you! I’ll be back soon!” 

“Be safe!” Tony hollered after him. 

Once Peter’s footsteps had faded away, he turned to his phone. He needed to call Fury. Dialing the number, he waited. Fury picked up on the fourth ring, sounding extremely tired. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mad-Eye Moody,” Tony said. “I have some questions about the kids.” He grabbed his laptop and opened up a blank document to take notes on. 

“Stark, I’m going to transfer you to Coulson, all right? He’s been spending more time with them than I have.” There was faint shrieking in the background, and Fury swore loudly before a new voice came on.

“Hello? Tony?”

“Hey, Phil.” 

Phil sighed. “So, how can I help you?”

Tony paused for a moment. “I read all the information that you sent over, so I know the basics. But I do have some more questions.”

“I figured you would. I’ll try and answer them as best I can, but we honestly don't know very much more than what we've already told you.”

“Do they remember anything?” Tony asked. 

“We’ve been running tests for the last four days and it seems that they only have their memories up until the age that they are. Take Natasha, for example. She’s eight and only remembers the Red Room. So, the short answer would be no. They definitely don’t have any memories of their adult lives,” Coulson explained.

Tony nodded. “Okay. What about Cap and Bucky? Do they think they’re from the 1920s?”

“Interestingly enough, it doesn’t seem like it, but we can’t tell for sure, and we don’t want to ask and upset them even more if they don’t have any recollection of it. Steve also isn’t tiny like he used to be, but we can't tell if he kept his immunity or not. We really don’t know how any of this happened- like I’m sure you read in the file, they were fighting a couple of giants from Jotunheim, there was a flash of light, and all of them appeared back in the compound as very confused kids.”

“Right. I’m actually interested in Maximoff- her first language is Sokovian, right? Does she understand English?” 

“Wanda hasn’t said anything in either language since she got here. We’re not sure if she can talk and just doesn’t want to, or if she literally doesn’t know how to talk. She can definitely make noise- she cries at night and will scream sometimes, but never actual words.”

Tony sighed. “I read in the files that Clint isn’t talking either?”

“Well, he wasn’t at first,” Phil said. “But I heard him talking to Sam a little yesterday, which is a huge improvement. Natasha can speak English perfectly, courtesy of her Red Room training, but we think she prefers Russian.”

“My Russian’s rusty, but I’ll try and make sure I understand a few basic phrases,” Tony said, making a mental note to order a Russian dictionary.

“Thor and Loki are probably the most normal, but we had to tell them that their parents died in order to explain why they’re here and they’re not taking it so well,” Phil told him. “All of the kids, with the exception of Wanda, who we can’t communicate with, believe that they’re currently in a group home for a variety of reasons, and as you can imagine, they’re subsequently very confused. They know that they’re all being adopted together and we’ve showed them pictures of you, Peter, and the new house, but that’s about it.”

“So did you tell them that Peter is their older brother?” Tony asked.

“Yes. To keep things simple, we’re saying that he’s your biological son. I should warn you that Agent Barton in particular seems very scared of men in authority, so that’s something to keep in mind.”

“Right. I assume a lot of them are to some extent.”

Phil sighed. “Unfortunately, that seems to be the case. I also need to tell you about Natasha. I know that you read in her file that she shows signs of being sexually abused, but we didn’t realize how bad it was until I told her she had to eat her mashed potatoes, and she, um, tried to grope me. I think she thought that it would get her out of having to eat.”

“That’s fucked up,” Tony snarled. 

Phil grunted in agreement. “She’s only eight years old. It's absolutely disgusting. I just wanted to make sure you had the heads up that that might happen.”

“I’ll definitely stay on the lookout for that, and I’m going to make sure Peter knows all of this stuff too. Anything else?”

“Oh!” Phil brightened. “Actually, something interesting that we learned is that Wanda really seems to like water. We had to fight a lot of the kids on bath and shower time, but she got right in and it was hard for us to get her out.” 

“Wow,” Tony mused. “I would not have guessed that.”

“Yeah.” Phil looked happy that at least one good thing had come out of this mess. “Steve has also been spending a ton of time drawing, and Clint really seems to like to read.” 

“Shit!” Tony smacked his head. “I forgot to order toys and games and whatever for them. I’ll do that now. Hang on one second, Phil. JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?” the automated voice replied.

“Search online for the best books, toys, games, and other kid stuff, and then order all of it and have it shipped to Colorado. Also, please send a message to Pepper to ask her if she can hire someone to unpack and put away all the toys.”

“On it, sir.”

“Thanks, J. Phil? Are you still there?”

“Yeah. I probably have to go soon though. It’s my turn to watch the kids- we’re taking it in one hour shifts.”

“Do they get along with each other?”

Phil hummed. “For the most part, yes. They seem to gravitate towards the people they’re closest with in real life- Steve and Bucky are always together, and Sam kind of trails after them. Thor and Loki fight a lot, so I’m not sure if having them in one room is the best idea. Surprisingly, Clint really seems to like Wanda, and I see him reading to her a lot.”

“Well, that definitely makes my job easier,” Tony mused. “I was worried none of them would get along.”

“No, they all seem to be fine with each other, although I think that some of them are on their best behavior because they’re in a new place, so I wouldn’t be surprised if more fights started occurring later. As a rule of thumb, I wouldn’t recommend leaving them without supervision for more than twenty minutes or so, even if you’re in the next room. There’s too much potential for someone to get hurt.”

“So who would you put in the same bedroom then?” Tony asked.

“Honestly? Steve and Bucky, and Clint and Sam. Wanda might want to sleep in the same room as you or Peter though, which would mean that only Steve and Bucky have to share.”

“Noted,” Tony said. “I’ll ask Peter if he minds sharing with Wanda, or I will.”

Phil smirked. “This seems to be coming very naturally to you. They’ll be calling you dad in no time.”

“Shut the fuck up, Coulson. And here I thought we were having a nice chat.”

“Sorry!” Phil said, still laughing. “I just think you’ll do a great job with them.”

“Well, that remains to be seen,” Tony muttered. “You guys are working on reversing it, right?”

“Of course. I won’t lie, this is stumping our scientists, but rest assured that we’re doing our best to get everything back to normal.”

“Good. Is there anything else I need to know?” 

“I don’t think so,” Phil said. “And honestly, Tony, thank you for doing this.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said, waving his hand. “You can thank me by finding an antidote.”

“See you in three days.” The screen went black.

Tony sighed. "I won't be like my father," he said to the empty room. "I won't be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoyed this chapter- next time, we meet the kids. :)
> 
> a few things:
> 
> 1) my update day will usually be sunday from here on out, BUT i might update a couple times this week just because i have a good amount of free time, so fingers crossed about that ;)
> 
> 2) i need to clarify the timeline: this takes place after endgame, but is clearly not canon (natasha and tony are very much alive). i also wanted to say that some other characters might be cropping up throughout the story, most prominently the guardians of the galaxy and captain marvel, who for this story's purposes are not superheroes and were not part of the whole save-the-world plot. by extension, this also means that gamora and nebula are not going to be thanos's daughters. i know that this might be a little confusing, so please feel free to message me or leave a comment if there's anything that you want me to clear up!
> 
> 3) with the exception of steve, i'm not going to be using the characters' real birthdays.
> 
> 4) tony and peter will both be acting as parental figures (tony more than peter), but i want to make it very clear that there will be absolutely no peter/tony romantic relationship, just in case anyone was thinking that. 
> 
> as always, i'll try to respond to any comments that i get.


	3. the cycle ends right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!  
> sorry this is so late- i've had it done for over a week now and i just haven't gotten around to posting it. i really am going to try and start posting weekly (famous last words) so be on the lookout for that. 
> 
> song rec + title inspo: mean by taylor swift

august nineteenth

“Peter, can you grab the last two suitcases?” Tony asked, grunting as he hoisted yet another full bag into the trunk of the car.

Peter nodded. “I’ll be back down in a minute.” He turned and raced towards the elevator. 

Tony spun to face May, who stood with her arm wrapped around Happy’s waist. “Are you positive that you don’t mind me stealing your nephew?”

May grinned. “Tony, if I minded, I probably would have said so one of the first five hundred times you asked. It’ll be good for Peter to be somewhere new, and he’s so excited to spend more time with you. Honestly, I should probably be thanking you for taking him off my hands for a little bit,” she joked, stepping forward and hugging Tony tightly. The inventor returned the hug.

“May, you are an angel.” 

“I know.” She shot him a smirk. 

“Aunt May!” Peter had reappeared, lugging two bags and extremely out of breath. “I’ll miss you!”

May’s eyes immediately started watering. “I’ll miss you more, baby. Have fun, but don’t forget to text me every day. We have a deal,” she said sternly.

“I won’t!” Peter bounced on the balls of his feet.

“And be good for Tony.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “I’m always good.” May stared at him hard. “Fine! I promise!”

“That’s all I was looking for,” May said. “Send me lots of photos, okay?”

Peter grabbed her in a hug. “I will. Thanks again, Aunt May.” He let her go and turned to Tony. “So is it time, then?” 

"To be honest, we probably don’t need to leave this early, but I hate being late.” Tony reached for the car door. “Thanks a million, May. I’ll let you know when we get to Colorado. Like I said, it should only be for a few days.”

“Bye, Happy! Bye, Aunt May!” Peter shouted out the window of the car. They waved back to him as Tony pulled out of the lot.

And then they were on their way. Tony was fairly sure he’d never been more scared in his life. 

Maria Hill met them at the door. “How was the trip?” 

“It was fine,” Tony said. “Not much traffic.”

“Good. And you must be Peter?” Maria asked, gesturing for them to come in.

Peter nodded. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Hill.”

“Not to shit on your introductions,” Tony butted in, “but I would like to get to Colorado today.”

Maria bowed dramatically as Peter rolled his eyes. “Your wish is my command. Right this way.” Tony and Peter followed her through a maze of hallways before she stopped at a door. “They’re all in here. 

Are you ready?”

“Absolutely,” Tony deadpanned. “I always dreamed of having eight children and living in Nofuckingwhere, Colorado.” 

“I actually think he’s excited,” Peter stage-whispered to Maria, smirking. “He’s literally been preparing nonstop for the last week. He bought like sixty parenting books and made me read all of them too!”

Maria started laughing and Tony glared at Peter. “I’m going to leave you behind. No, I’m going to tell MJ that you have a crush on her.”

Peter’s face turned red. “Are you in first grade? And I don’t have a crush on her! We just do decathlon together.”

“Right.” Tony raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure that’s all it is.”

Maria sighed. “You’re both acting like first graders. And Tony, you were the one who said you wanted to get to Colorado tonight.”

“Thank you!” Peter said. “Let’s just get the kids and go.” 

Maria was already scanning her ID on the door’s sensor. With a click, the door unlocked and swung open to reveal eight children. Tony sized them up one by one as he stepped into the room.

A big blond boy with a frown. Thor.

A girl with bare feet and long, tangled red hair. Natasha.

One- no, two boys hiding behind the couch, one with sandy blond hair and one with light brown. Clint and Bucky. Tony realized with a start that Bucky didn’t have a metal arm.

Another girl with wavy brown hair cropped a little past her chin. Wanda.

A boy with black hair sitting sullenly on the floor. Loki.

A second blond boy who seemed to be shielding another kid. Steve and Sam.

Well, they were nothing if not consistent, because as Tony looked around he could see that every single one of them was terrified, although some were definitely hiding it better than others. He probably wouldn’t have been able to tell so easily, but years of Tony’s own anxiety had taught him to easily read other people, and his teammates were no exception.

However, he also had no idea what to say to them. Luckily, Peter saved him.

“Hey, guys!” Peter said brightly. Seemingly unfazed by the lack of response, he carried on. “I’m Peter, and this is Tony next to me. We’re both so excited to get to know all of you better.”

“Like we talked about, you’ll be living with them for a while, all right?” Maria added. 

Surprisingly, Sam was the first to say something. “We’re going on a plane, right?” he muttered, not making eye contact with anyone.

Peter nodded. “That’s right! We live a little farther away, so the fastest way to get there is by plane.” 

“I’m Steve, and this is my friend Bucky, but he doesn’t like to talk very much!” the smaller blond suddenly announced, as Sam slunk back to the corner.

Peter smiled encouragingly. “It’s nice to meet you both. Steve, I heard that you like to draw. I wish I was a good drawer! Do you want to show me one of your pictures?” Steve nodded eagerly, and Peter crossed the room and knelt down.

Tony was still frozen by the door. Why was Peter so good at this? Luckily, the arrival of Phil meant that he didn’t have to go talk to any of them just yet.

“Tony! I see you’ve met the kids.”

Tony blew out a long breath. “Met is generous. Peter’s done all the talking, and of course they love him already.” He pointed to where Peter was sitting on the floor, listening intently to Steve as he talked.

“Don’t worry,” Phil said, patting him a little awkwardly on the back. “It might take a little bit, but they’ll warm up to you too. And you should keep in mind that of course they’re going to be nice at first, because they don’t want you to give them back. I wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped being so friendly to both you and Peter in a couple of days.”

Tony shrugged but dropped the matter. “So, any new discoveries? Anything I need to know?” 

"This should have been in the files, but we’ve told the general public that the team is taking some time off for their mental health. It was the only effective way to explain their sudden disappearance, so don’t be surprised if you see reports of that in the news. We vetted the place you’re going and it doesn’t seem like anyone is going to recognize them or you, but stay alert just in case.”

“Right.” Tony nodded. “Phil?” 

“Yes?”

“What if I’m a terrible choice for this? I’m a former playboy and recently recovered alcoholic. Should I really be allowed to have them?” Tony couldn’t stop his fears from escaping.

Phil nodded thoughtfully. “Tony, every good parent is scared of fucking up their kids. No one ever feels ready. When my wife gave birth the first time, I wouldn’t hold our son for three weeks because I was   
terrified. And then I finally did, and it was like I’d been holding him my entire life. You’ll know what to do. It sounds like some quote on a pillow, but good parenting really is just following your heart.”

“That was so cheesy, Coulson.” Tony mock shuddered.

Phil just smiled. “It’s true, though.”

"Um. Thanks,” Tony finally said. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

“Really?”

“No. But I’m Tony fucking Stark and I’m supposed to be good at everything.”

Phil chuckled. “Let’s get moving, then. I’ll round up all the kids while you head up to the private jet and make sure everything is in order.”

"Sounds good.” Tony turned and headed up to SHIELD’s landing strip, where his plane sat waiting, as promised. After checking in with the pilot quickly, he set up the large TV, hoping that all of the kids could watch something and be engrossed for the duration of the flight. After about five minutes, he heard footsteps and turned his head to see Steve, Bucky, and Sam slowly getting on the plane. “Hey, boys.” Tony forced his nerves down. “You can sit wherever you want.”

“Hi,” Steve and Bucky said in unison. Sam said nothing. Tony nodded awkwardly. God, where was Peter?

“Greetings!” a new voice boomed from the front. Tony didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Thor. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hi, Thor. And you must be Natasha,” Tony said, bending down slightly to look the red-haired girl in the eye. She nodded slowly but didn’t say anything.

“She does not like to talk, sir,” Thor announced. He reached down and gripped her hand. “You can sit next to me, Natasha.” 

“You two can pick any seat you want,” Tony said. “The boys are over there.”

“Hey, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony turned towards Peter. “You’re finally here!”

“Shh!” Peter jerked his head towards Wanda, who he was holding in his arms. “She just fell asleep.”

“Oh. Uh, okay. Do you want to sit with her then?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” 

“Just go with the other kids. I think we’re only waiting for Clint and Loki now.” Tony checked his watch. “They should be here any minute.”

“Ow!”

Tony whipped around. “What happened?”

“Natasha bit me!” Steve shrieked. Bucky nodded.

“Natasha?” Tony asked. “Is this true?” He looked at Peter, who shrugged, indicating that he hadn’t seen anything. Natasha looked sullen. Sighing, Tony walked over. “Steve, can you show me the bite mark?”   
Steve immediately held out his arm. “Right here! She bit me right here!” Sure enough, there was the indent of teeth right in the middle of his forearm.

“Natasha,” Tony said. “You can’t bite people, all right?” Natasha didn’t respond. “Natasha?”

“My teachers say biting is acceptable form of attack.” 

“Well, you can’t bite anyone here,” Tony said for lack of a better response. “Why don’t you sit on the other side of Peter.” 

Surprisingly, Natasha moved without a fight and Steve looked indignant. “How come she isn’t getting in trouble?”

Tony rubbed his face. “I’m not punishing anyone right now. If you all sit down, I’ll put on a movie.” During the altercation, Wanda had woken up, but luckily wasn’t crying. Just then, Phil showed up with Clint and Loki. 

“Clint, Loki, this is Tony, and he’ll be your new caretaker. Just like we talked about,” Phil explained. Clint immediately ran to Sam and sat next to him. Loki was a little slower, but he too eventually found a seat. Neither acknowledged Tony or Peter.

“Thanks for everything, Phil,” Tony said grudgingly. “I’ll keep you updated.”

“Thank you, Mr. Coulson!” Peter whisper-shouted from his seat with Wanda.

“Good luck to both of you,” Phil said in a low tone. “Feel free to contact us with any questions or issues. And Tony, remember what we talked about.” Phil began backing out of the plane. The doors closed behind him.

“All right!” Tony said cheerfully. “Who wants to watch something?” There was a pregnant pause, and he resisted the urge to check his watch.

“Me.” The voice had come from Steve. Bucky nodded vigorously from beside him. The rest of the kids made no move to indicate that they had heard or understood.

“Okay.” Tony turned on the TV. “I’m just going to play a movie for you guys then. I’m not sure if Phil told you, but we’re going to be on the plane for about three hours.” Again, none of the kids responded. “I need you all to put on your seatbelts just for takeoff, okay?” 

“Here, Wanda,” Peter said, reaching over. “I’ll do yours for you. And then I’ll help you too, Loki.” This seemed to prompt the others into doing theirs, and Tony settled into his seat next to Natasha. The redhead tensed, but didn’t move away from him. Tony figured that was progress. 

Everyone went quiet as the plane took off, and Tony thanked whatever deity was out there that none of them seemed scared. Flicking through the movies until he found the one he wanted, he saw Wanda turn her face into Peter’s chest and close her eyes again.

“Lights at thirty percent,” he said softly. Fighting the urge to sleep himself, he instead watched the kids as they watched Elsa lose control and run up the mountain. Surprisingly, Natasha seemed completely engrossed in the story, and Tony even saw a small smile on her face when Kristoff was singing to Sven. Making a mental note to show her more Disney movies, he looked around at the others. Thor also seemed entertained, but Clint kept looking around like he was trying to figure out the best way to escape. At one point, they made eye contact, and Clint immediately flinched and looked away, a full body tremor running through him. Tony sighed. He would have to call Phil later and ask for tips on what to do.

The rest of the plane ride passed without incident, and they had gotten around a third of the way into Mulan (which Natasha seemed to like even more) when the pilot announced that they had touched down in Boulder, Colorado. Getting all the kids off of the plane wasn’t easy, especially because Peter had fallen asleep as well, but Tony managed. From there, he loaded the very groggy children into the car that SHIELD had gotten for them, and drove the fifteen minutes to their new house in Decal Valley, Colorado. 

“Wow,” Peter breathed, sounding incredibly impressed even though his eyes were half-lidded. Tony was inclined to agree. The house was even nicer in person, and when he stepped inside, it looked exactly as he had envisioned it. Thank you, Pepper. 

“Okay, guys. It’s been a long day, so I’ll take you to your rooms and we can all get some sleep.” He began walking up the stairs with everyone trailing behind him, and sent them into their rooms one by one, promising to come and check on them after he got everyone settled. Peter’s room had a crib in it for Wanda, and after putting the toddler down, he backed out as quietly as possible.

“Hopefully she sleeps through the night,” Peter said in a low tone to Tony, who gestured for him to come into his bedroom so they could talk more freely.

“Thanks for letting her stay with you. We should probably go help the rest of them get ready. Do you want to start bringing in luggage while I start bedtime?”

“Okay,” Peter said. “Did the kids have any stuff or was it just us?”

“Just us.”

Peter shot him a thumbs-up and left. Tony sat down heavily on the bed, relishing the quiet, until it was broken by an ear-piercing scream. 

Tony leapt up and ran out of the room, trying to locate the noise. Praying that Wanda wouldn’t wake up, he skidded to a halt in front of Steve and Bucky’s room and threw open the door.

“What the fu-heck is going on?” 

Both boys were standing atop their bed as Loki hissed at them from the floor. At the sound of Tony’s voice, all three whipped around.

“Not my fault!” Loki shrieked.

Steve crossed his arms. “He came- he came in our room, and then we tried to get him out, but he wouldn’t leave, and-and-and-”

“No!” Loki screamed again.

“Enough.” Tony held up his hand. “Steve and Bucky, we don’t stand on furniture. You may sit on the bed or stand on the floor. Loki, you need to go back to your own room. I’ll come see you in a second.”

Loki threw himself on the ground. “No!”

Tony desperately tried to remember what the books had said about tantrums. “Loki, you need to get up.”

“No! No! No!” He began to thrash around. Natasha appeared in the doorway.

“Hey!” Tony forced his voice to remain level. “Loki, you have one more chance. Either you can walk out, or I can carry you out. Natasha, I will be with you in a minute.” To Tony’s utter shock, Loki got up off the ground and began dragging himself towards the door. “Thank you, Loki.”

“I need my handcuffs.” Natasha’s raspy voice startled him.

“What?”

“My handcuffs. I cannot sleep without them.”

Tony shook his head. “No. No handcuffs, okay? I’ll come see you as soon as I get Steve and Bucky ready for bed, and we can discuss what to do then.” That seemed to placate Natasha for the moment, and   
Tony turned his attention back to the boys. “Okay, you need to get into pajamas. I’ll forego the baths for tonight so we can sleep, but you can’t sleep in those clothes.” He walked over to the twin dressers and pulled out a pair of pajamas for each boy. “Please put these on and get into bed. I’ll check on you in ten minutes.”

Surprisingly, neither of them put up a fight. Tony figured that they were too tired to argue. 

“Natasha?” He poked his head into her room. She was sitting on the bed. “It’s time to sleep, okay?” 

She shrugged noncommittally. 

"How about these pajamas?” Tony held up a pair of soft black shorts and a black tank top. Natasha reached one hand out and took them from him. “Thank you. What were you saying about handcuffs earlier?”

“I slept like that every night in Red Room.”

“Okay. Well, you don’t need them here, all right?”

She stared at him for a long moment. “I want to be the best. Only handcuffed girls are the best.” 

Tony sighed heavily. “It doesn’t work like that here. Will it make you feel better if you share a room with someone?” Natasha didn’t respond, just twisted the black pajama set in her hands. “Okay,” Tony said after a few seconds. “I’ll give you twenty minutes to get ready and decide while I check on the others.” When he didn’t get a response to that either, he stood up and backed out of the room, nearly colliding with Peter. 

“Mr. Stark! Hey!” Peter sounded slightly out of breath. “I brought in all the luggage.”

“Thank you,” Tony said. “Do you think you could go check on Clint and make sure he’s ready for bed? I get the sense he might respond better to you because you’re younger.”

“Yeah, of course. Is Wanda asleep?”

“Last I checked, yes.” 

“Okay.” Peter turned. “I’ll get Clint to bed, and then we should discuss our plans for tomorrow.”

A smile spread over Tony’s face. “Well, look at you, being all domestic and shit. Spider-Man really can do it all, can’t he?”

“First off, I don’t think you’re supposed to swear around the kids. And I just want to be prepared. I’m pretty sure ‘spontaneous’ shouldn’t be our motto. We’ll end up losing one of them.”

“Fair enough,” Tony conceded. “Meet me in my room in thirty minutes.”

“Hey, Clint,” Peter said, trying to make himself sound as nonthreatening as possible. The boy was pressed up against the back of the bed, watching him with wide eyes. “Hey, I’m not going to hurt you, okay? I’m not even going to come near you. I just want to make sure you put on your pajamas.” 

“No pajamas.”

“No pajamas?” Peter asked, slowly moving closer. “You have to wear pajamas to bed, okay? Your clothes are dirty.” 

Clint shook his head. “Don’t-don’t have pajamas,” he whispered. His voice cracked on the words.

“Oh,” Peter said, understanding. “That’s okay. Tony actually bought you some-” he reached in the dresser- “and they’re right here.” He fished them out and held them out towards Clint, trying not to make any sudden moves. 

“Mine?” Clint’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, yours,” Peter said. Clint tentatively reached for them. “Do you mind wearing them?” Clint shook his head once. “Great. Let me know if you need anything. My room is down the hall.” Clint didn’t respond, and Peter frowned. “Clint? Will you be okay?”

Clint seemed to curl in on himself. “Okay.” 

Peter almost reached out and patted Clint on the back, before thinking better of it. Heading out into the hall, he could hear Tony talking to Thor. Peter checked in on Wanda quickly before heading into Tony’s room to wait. Turning on his phone, he sent a quick message to May and Ned, although he figured that they would both be asleep by now.

“Natasha?” Tony poked his head in. “Did you decide where you want to sleep?” The redhead was now dressed in her pajamas. The clothes she had been wearing were neatly folded on the chair. 

“Yes. I want to sleep here.”

“Okay,” Tony said, trying to sound as gentle as possible. “Come get me if you need anything.” 

That hadn’t gone too badly, he reflected as he walked towards his room. All of the kids had seemed tired enough that they had gone to bed relatively easily. However, Tony could clearly see that many of them had underlying issues that would need to be dealt with, and he made a mental note to find time to talk to each of them privately. 

“Clint was easy to handle,” Peter informed him as soon as he walked in the room.

“Oh, good.” Tony blew out a relieved breath. “Did he seem scared of you?”

“He seemed really jumpy in general, but yeah, I think me being there definitely elevated it.” 

“We’ll definitely have to work on that, especially because he’s going to be more scared of me then he is of you,” Tony mused. 

“It’s so weird to call them by their first names.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

Tony shrugged. “Lazy morning- I want the kids to sleep for as long as they can. After that, I don’t know. Maybe we can get them in the pool or something. We probably need to go grocery shopping as well.”

“Wait, do you think that they can swim?” Peter asked. “I feel like most of them probably can’t.”

“I don’t know, but we should find out so we know who to keep an eye on,” Tony said, before sucking in a quick breath. “Is Wanda wearing a diaper?”

“I don’t know,” Peter said. “I wasn’t really paying attention- should I go check?”

“Not tonight, but definitely tomorrow morning. Wait, I’ll pull up her file-” he reached for his tablet- “it would have said it in there.” Flicking through his emails, he pulled it up and scanned it quickly. “It says she wears Pull-Ups at night, but she’s fine with just underwear during the day.”

“Do we need to buy those?”

“Probably. Like I was saying, we should go to the grocery store anyway. There’s some food in the house, but not that much, and it’ll get eaten fast.”

“I don’t know if we should take all of them to the store, though,” Peter said skeptically. “I feel like all eight of them will be a handful.”

“Agreed.” Tony set down his tablet. “We can figure it out tomorrow, though. I’m setting my alarm for seven, and hopefully the kids sleep much later than that, although I’m willing to bet that some of them aren’t going to be sleeping at all tonight.”

“I hope so,” Peter said. “I usually get up pretty early anyway, so most likely I’ll be up before them.”

“All right, kid. Are you sure you’re good with Wanda?”

“Yeah, she seems really sweet so far,” Peter said, smiling. “Although to be fair, she hasn’t really done much more than sleep.”

“If you’re sure. Don’t stay up late tonight, all right? You’re growing and need your beauty sleep.”

“Mr. Stark!” Peter groaned. “I don’t need beauty sleep. Your jokes are so lame.”

“Watch who you’re calling lame, Pete,” Tony teased, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Don’t think I can’t take that special suit of yours away.”

Peter’s face suddenly grew solemn. “Do you think Queens’ll be okay without me? The crime rate has gone down and everything but I still feel bad about leaving.”

“Pete.” Tony turned to make eye contact with him. “The cops need something to do anyway. Queens will be fine for now, I promise.”

Peter sighed heavily. “I hope so.”

“It will be.” Tony placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder and steered him towards the door. “Go to bed.”

“Good night, Mr. Stark,” Peter said before disappearing into his bedroom.

“Night, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment! i love reading them!


	4. just wanna make you feel okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for disappearing for a month- it's been crazy, as i'm sure you guys know. on the bright side, i'll have more time to write, so hopefully these chapters will be coming faster. take care of yourselves, and please practice social distancing :)

august twentieth 

Tony woke up with a jolt. Fumbling on the nightstand for his phone, he squinted at the time. 5:30. Fuck. He really didn’t want to be up this early. Sighing, he rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but gave up after five minutes and climbed out of bed. He could just make out a figure on the couch as he tiptoed downstairs.

“Pete?” Tony whispered. “Why are you up already?”

“Oh, hey, Mr. Stark.” Peter didn’t look up from his phone. “I told you I get up early. And I fell asleep on the plane, so I wasn’t that tired anyway.” 

“You must be the only teenager in the world who willingly gets up at this hour.”

Peter gave Tony an unimpressed look. “You’re one to talk about weird sleeping habits.”

“Touche. How long have you been up?”

“Like thirty minutes,” Peter said nonchalantly. “I explored the house first cause I didn’t get to do that yesterday. It’s so nice! You bought so much stuff, Mr. Stark.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” Tony’s forehead creased. “I didn’t know what the kids would want to do, so I tried to get a variety of things, but now I’m wondering if I went overboard.”

“I don’t think so.” Peter looked thoughtful. “You should check out the playroom or whatever you want to call it though. Whoever set up did a really good job.”

“Okay,” Tony said through a yawn. “Is there coffee?”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t drink it. I can get up and look for it if you want,” he offered.

“Thank you,” Tony groaned. “You’re an angel, Underoos.” He began walking around the first floor of the house, checking everything out. When he got to the playroom, he stopped short, muttering a few curses under his breath. 

Oh. Yeah. He could see what Peter meant. Shelves full of kids’ books and games lined the walls. There were big toy chests on the ground, and he could see that a full section was loaded with arts and crafts materials. A rack on one wall had costumes dangling from it.

So maybe he had gone a bit overboard. Sue him. He could afford it. 

“Pete!” he hissed as he stepped into the kitchen. “You said it wasn’t too much.”

“Well, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Peter muttered. “Plus, they’ll be in heaven when they see all of it.”

“Didn’t you read those parenting books? One of the number one rules is to not spoil them!” Tony started breathing heavily.

“Whoa, Mr. Stark, calm down.” Peter patted him on the back. “It’s fine. If you really think it’s too much, we can move some of the stuff to the basement. I kind of think they need to be spoiled a little though. 

“I don’t know!” Tony began pacing. “I don’t know anything about this.”

“I think it’ll be okay. Yeah, it’s a lot of stuff, but that also means they’ll have to learn good cleanup and sharing skills.”

“True.” After a minute, Tony’s breathing began to even out. “Okay, I’m fine now. Where’s my coffee?” 

“On the counter.” 

He snatched the mug and inhaled greedily. “My savior.”

“Are you talking to the coffee or me?”

“Both.” He paused. “Wait, did you just hear that?”

“What?”

“Shhh! Listen.” 

Peter turned his head towards the stairs. “Oh, yeah.”

“Can you tell who’s talking?” Sometimes Tony was really grateful for Peter’s enhanced senses.

“Sounds like Natasha, Steve, and Bucky.”

“I’ll go see what’s going on. What time is it?”

Peter looked at his phone. “6:17.”

“Honestly, I was expecting Natasha to get up way earlier, so I’m not even that upset.” Tony climbed the stairs and knocked gently on Steve’s door. The voices stopped abruptly, and he poked his head in. “Are you guys hungry?”

“Yeah!” Steve and Bucky chorused in unison from where they were bouncing on Steve’s bed. 

“Boys, the bed is for sitting or lying down.” _Was that good parenting?_ Tony turned to look at the redhead, who was sitting on the floor. “Natasha, are you ready for breakfast?” She didn’t respond, but she did squeeze by him and run down the stairs, so Tony took that as a good sign. Just then, Steve bent over and began attempting to hack out one of his lungs. Tony jumped. “Oh my god! Steve! Are you okay?” 

“He’s fine, mister.” Bucky’s voice was soft. “He gets like that all the time.” 

“You can call me Tony, okay? Do you know if he has an inhaler?” Tony questioned. Steve was straightening and wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

“What’s an inhaler?” Steve asked.

“Okay, so I’m going to take that as a no. We definitely need to buy you one though.” Tony whipped out his phone and made a note.

“Wait!” Steve shrieked suddenly. “Bucky! Wait for me!”

“I am waiting,” Bucky protested from the doorway. 

“No you weren’t!” Steve stomped his foot.

“Okay!” Tony jumped in before the situation could get any worse. “Why don’t you two go downstairs and see Peter so you can eat.” This seemed to placate both of them for the time being, and they disappeared from the room without further complaint. Satisfied that they would make it downstairs without another fight, Tony went to go check on Wanda, who he could now hear babbling in the next room. _They better not get up this early tomorrow._

“Well, hello there.” Tony couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over his face. “You’re pretty cute, aren’t you?” Wanda grinned, showing off a full set of baby teeth, and continued to make nonsensical sounds. “I should probably put some clean underwear on you first, right?” 

“Aaaaaa!” Wanda squealed. 

“Okay, okay. I have no idea how to do this, so bear with me.” Luckily, Wanda was extremely cooperative throughout the whole process. “What happened to you?” Tony wondered out loud. “I don’t think I’d ever seen you smile before, and now all you do is laugh.”

“Eeee!” Wanda shrieked, giggling. “Eeee!”

Tony scooped her up. “Let’s get you downstairs.” After settling Wanda in her booster chair and making sure Peter had everything under control, he headed back up to check on the others. These stairs were a good workout, he reflected. Thor and Loki were still asleep, but Sam jumped right out of bed and ran downstairs when Tony checked on him. Now he just had one more kid to check on, and it was the one he was the most worried about.

“Clint?” Tony pushed the door open and tried to make his voice as soft as possible. Clint looked up, fear etched in every line of his face. “Hey, buddy.” _Buddy? What was wrong with him, he had never _called anyone “buddy” in his life-_ “Would you like some breakfast?”_

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Clint curled into a tighter ball. 

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“You can come downstairs whenever you want, all right?”

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“Now?” Clint mumbled.

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“If you want to,” Tony said softly.

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“Do- do you want me to?” Clint said, shrinking back.

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Tony hesitated, unsure how he should respond. “Yes, I would like it if you joined us,” he said, internally slapping himself. He didn’t want to order Clint around. It seemed to do the trick, however, because Clint obediently got up and began walking towards the stairs. _Definitely something we need to work on,_ Tony mused as he followed him. _He shouldn’t need a direct command to do anything._

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* * *

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Peter had somehow whipped up pancakes for everyone, and Tony felt a rush of gratitude. At the table, Clint was cutting up Wanda’s food into tiny pieces and feeding them to her as she babbled to him and tried to grab his face. Steve, Bucky, and Sam were also sitting and eating, but Natasha was noticeably not present. 

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“Pete, have you seen Natasha?” Tony asked, looking around. A head of red hair and two large hazel eyes popped up from behind the kitchen island.

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“She’s right here,” Peter said without turning around from the stove. “She asked if she could help me cook.”

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“I am helping,” Natasha confirmed, holding up her spatula for proof.

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“Great,” Tony said, trying to sound sincere. “How’s everyone else?”

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“Good!” Steve chirped, continuing to shovel food into his mouth. 

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“These are good,” Sam chimed in. 

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“Obviously,” Peter said, dragging out the word. “I made them.” This got a laugh from both Steve and Sam, but Bucky and Clint continued to sit in silence. 

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“Clint, why don’t I take over feeding Wanda?” Tony said. Clint physically leapt away from her as if he had been burned. “Whoa, whoa,” Tony amended. “I just meant that I want you to eat your pancakes

__

as well.” 

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“Okay,” the mini archer whispered.

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“Ca!” Wanda yelled. “Ca!”

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“Wanda, are you still hungry?” Tony asked. She blinked at him with surprisingly sharp blue eyes and let her last two pieces of pancake fall out of her mouth and onto the table. Tony gagged subtly. “Okay. I’m going to guess you’re done then. Why don’t we go get dressed? Peter, are you okay down here?” 

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“I’m good,” Peter confirmed. “We definitely need to go grocery shopping though.”

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“Noted. Kids-” Tony turned his attention to the others- “Once you’re done eating, I need you to go change out of your pajamas, okay? There are clothes in your dressers for you. Peter or I can help if you need anything.” There was a loud crash from upstairs. “Oh, no,” Tony muttered. Climbing the stairs quickly with Wanda in tow, he headed into Thor’s room to find a chair turned over.

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“Mr. Stark!” Thor exclaimed as soon as he saw Tony. “Loki has wronged me yet again! He snuck in my room while I was still asleep and scared me!”

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“Loki,” Tony groaned. “You can’t do that.”

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Loki blinked innocently at him. 

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“I will hurt you, brother!” Thor shrieked.

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“Thor and Loki!” Tony said. _Pretend you’re in a business meeting, how would you get everyone to listen to you?_ “Uh, no fighting. Both of you go downstairs and eat breakfast.” 

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“Fine!” Thor stomped off and Loki followed him, smirking. Tony rubbed his forehead and followed them.

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Two hours later, everyone was dressed and sitting in the living room. Tony had found a large piece of poster board and a marker amidst all the arts and crafts supplies and was now standing in front of all the kids. “I know that moving here is a huge change for all of you, so I thought that it would be a good idea to come up with some ground rules so we’re all on the same page. Does anyone have any suggestions? 

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“Don’t go in other people’s rooms!” Thor shouted. 

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Tony uncapped his marker. “Good idea.”

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“Don’t hit other people.” Steve said. 

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“You're such a baby, Steve,” Bucky interrupted. 

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“You’re stupid!” Steve retorted.

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“Okay!” Tony started writing. He was starting to wonder how well Steve and Bucky actually got along. It was definitely something to pay attention to, at the very least. “Keep your hands to yourself, and use respectful language when talking to or about others. Does that work?”

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“Natasha keeps poking me,” Sam butted in. “She’s not keeping her hands to herself. You should punish her.”

__

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“Natasha-” Tony rubbed a hand down his face- “Please keep your hands to yourself, like we talked about. 

__

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“Why isn’t she getting in trouble?” Sam said indignantly.

__

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“Sam, what do you think an appropriate punishment would be for that?” Tony asked curiously. 

__

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The boy shrugged. “I don’t know, she doesn’t get to eat for two days or something.”

__

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“What? Okay, no. Food is not going to be withheld as a punishment. We don’t do that here.” Tony was cut off by his phone ringing. “Hang on one second, guys. Hello?”

__

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“Tony?”

__

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“Phil?”

__

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“I have good news. Can you talk for a few minutes?”

__

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“Yeah.” He tossed the marker to Peter. “Take over for me. I’ll be right back.” 

__

__

Walking out of the room, he stepped onto the deck and shut the back door. “I’m alone. What’s going on?”

__

__

“Well, we figured out how to reverse it.”

__

__

Tony fell into the railing and then grabbed it for support. “What? Already?”

__

__

“Only for Thor and Loki, though!” Phil said hastily.

__

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“What? How? Why only them?”

__

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“Frigga showed up and said she would be able to fix them, but not the others. They’re gods, so it’s easier to put them back to normal.”

__

__

“So do I have to bring them back?” 

__

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“I’m sorry. I know you just got there, but yes. As soon as possible, preferably.”

__

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“How am I supposed to explain to the rest of the kids that Thor and Loki are just going to be leaving?”

__

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“Tell them that their stepmother is going to take custody of them. They should be happy about that.”

__

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“Phil, I’m not going to lie. This is really fucking annoying.”

__

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Phil sighed heavily. “I’m sorry, Tony. But I need you to bring them. Please.”

__

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“Fine. But I have to make sure Peter’s okay with being left in charge of the other six.”

__

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“Thank you.” Tony could hear the relief in Phil’s voice. “I definitely owe you one.”

__

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“Send a plane. I’ll let you know when we’re boarding.” 

__

__

* * *

__

__

“Okay! I think we’ve got all the basic rules, you guys. Good job.”

__

__

“Sorry to interrupt,” Tony said, “But I have an announcement. Uh, Thor and Loki, your stepmother showed up this morning and wants to take you, which means we need to fly out now. The rest of you are going to stay with Pete-” he shot Peter an apologetic glance- “and be very good for him.”

__

__

“You’re giving them back?” Steve blurted out.

__

__

“I knew it,” Clint muttered. “No one ever keeps us.”

__

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“Guys.” Tony held out both his hands. “I’m not giving anyone away. I adopted all of you, and the only reason Thor and Loki are leaving is because their stepmother is alive, which we hadn’t realized.”

__

__

“Thank you, Mr. Stark!” Thor said, beaming. “My brother and I are forever indebted to you.”

__

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“Thanks,” Loki mumbled.

__

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“All right.” Tony clapped his hands. “Thor and Loki, go get ready to leave. Pete, I need to talk to you privately.”

__

__

* * *

__

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“I’ll be fine, Mr. Stark,” Peter said before Tony could say anything. “Seriously.”

__

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“Six kids is a lot, Pete.”

__

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“I always wanted younger siblings.” Peter shrugged. “This is the closest I’m ever going to get. And I like hanging out with them, honestly.”

__

__

“I really don’t like the idea of leaving you alone in a different state. You’re barely sixteen.” 

__

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“Mr. Stark.” Peter sighed. “It’ll be okay. I’ll call you if there are any problems.”

__

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“Fine,” Tony relented. “But don’t leave the house.”

__

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“We need to get food though.”

__

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“Do you know how to drive?”

__

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“...kind of?”

__

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“What does that mean?”

__

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“Like, I’ve driven before, but I only have my permit, not an actual license?”

__

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“Are you going to crash the car?”

__

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“No!” Peter shook his head vigorously. “I won’t crash, honest. And I looked it up already- the supermarket is really close.”

__

__

“Fine. Only to the supermarket, though.”

__

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“Yeah, okay!” Peter agreed. “Wait, can I have money?”

__

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Tony let out a dramatic sigh as his mouth twisted into a smirk. “That’s all you ever want from me.” He made a show of pulling out his wallet and slowly opening it.

__

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“You’re not funny, Mr. Stark.”

__

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“Money, money, money. If I wasn’t a billionaire, you wouldn’t spend time with me, would you?”

__

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“I’m not going to spend any more time with you regardless,” Peter grumbled. 

__

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“Well, because I’m so nice and plan ahead,” Tony whipped out a debit card, “this is for you.”

__

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“Whoa!” Peter grabbed it. “How much is on here?”

__

__

“Well, it’s connected directly to my personal bank account, but that doesn’t mean you get to waste all my money on Legos. There's a cutoff somewhere. Probably.”

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“I’m pretty sure the entire Lego store is sitting in our playroom right now anyway.”

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“I will take that debit card back from you.”

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“I surrender.” Peter held up his hands. “You win.”

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“Okay. Anything else before I leave? Your phone is charged?”

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“Yes,” Peter groaned. “I’m good, dad. You can leave.”

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“Wait.” Tony raised an eyebrow. “Did you-”

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Peter had already disappeared.

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_Did he just call me dad?_

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* * *

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_I can’t believe I called him dad._

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Peter groaned. Tony had left with Thor and Loki half an hour ago, and Peter hadn’t even been able to look him in the eye when he was saying goodbye.

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“I’m ready!” Steve stood in front of him. “Let’s go!”

__

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“We have to wait for our, um, siblings, okay? Thanks for getting ready so fast.” Peter didn’t know if he was supposed to refer to them as siblings, but he didn’t have a better word either, so he figured it was fine for now.

__

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“I’ll go get Bucky!” Steve raced towards the stairs.

__

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Peter sighed and took a seat by the door with Wanda. “Okay, sweetheart, where are your shoes? Daddy said he bought some for you, so they have to be here somewhere.” _Daddy? Oh god, Tony would flip if Wanda started calling him that-_ “Here they are!” He triumphantly held up a tiny pair of velcro sneakers.

__

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“Aaaa,” Wanda babbled, grabbing for them.

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“No, they go on your feet, silly! Show me your feet!”

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“Fee!”

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“Yeah, feet-” Peter whipped around at the tap on his back- “Oh! Clint, what’s up?”

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“I don’t have shoes,” Clint mumbled.

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“Right there,” Peter pointed. Clint slowly began putting them on. “Steve, Bucky, Natasha, and Sam!” Peter yelled up the stairs. “Are you almost ready?”

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“I am here.”

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Peter whipped around. “God, Natasha. How long have you been standing there? Uh, your shoes are right over by Clint.”

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She gave the sneakers a disdainful look. “I do not want them.”

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“Natasha,” Peter sighed. “Please.”

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Natasha arched an eyebrow. “No.”

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“Okay-” Peter grabbed a pair of flip-flops that looked like they would fit her- _Jesus, Tony had thought of everything-_ “How about these?” Natasha considered for a moment before putting them on. 

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“I’m back! And I gots Bucky and Sam too!” Steve had reappeared.

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“Great.” Peter massaged his forehead. “Inside voices, okay? And shoes on, and then we’re all going to get in the car.”

__

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Ten minutes later, everyone was buckled in and quiet as Peter slowly reversed out of the driveway. Natasha climbed in the passenger seat, which probably wasn’t allowed, but he figured that five minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone, and it was easier than arguing with her.

__

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“I’m going to push one cart, okay?” Peter said as they walked into the small grocery store. “Can somebody push another?”

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“I can!” Steve immediately volunteered.

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“Great, thanks. Wanda, sweetheart, you’re going to sit in my cart, all right?”

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“Aaaaa!” Wanda agreed.

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“Okay-” Peter looked down at his very long, hastily made list- “I know this isn’t so fun, so we’ll try and move as fast as possible. Let’s start in the produce section. If you see anything you think you’d like to eat, let me know and we can buy it, okay? Is everyone good with hamburgers for lunch? It’s one of the only things I trust myself to cook well.”

__

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All of the children ignored his question in favor of looking around.

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“There’s so much food,” Clint whispered reverently to Natasha as they began walking. Peter put item after item in the cart as they maneuvered around the produce section. 

__

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“Watermelon?” Peter pointed to the stack. “Will you guys eat that?”

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“Yes!” Steve said.

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“Let’s get three, then.” 

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“Can we get those?” Bucky mumbled, pointing at the strawberries.

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“Of course!” Peter said immediately. “Don’t be afraid to speak up, okay? That goes for all of you.” The children all blinked tentatively, and then everyone began to talk at once.

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Sam pulled on his sleeve. “Can we get blueberries?”

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“Muffins?”

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“Ice cream?”

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“Carrots?”

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“You know what?” Peter cut in, “Anything you see that you want, just grab it and put it in the cart. I think homemade muffins would taste better, though, so why don’t we buy ingredients and then make them at home.” 

__

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The shopping trip ended up going quite smoothly after that, with everyone helping to put things in the cart. Peter noticed that they ended up with quite a lot of junk food, but he figured that it couldn’t hurt.

__

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“Do you guys want to go in the pool now?” Peter asked as they pulled into the driveway. “I know your Dad bought you all swimsuits.” _God, Tony was going to kill him if they started calling him Dad._

__

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“I like to swim!” Sam said suddenly, knocking Peter out of his internal debate over how he should refer to Tony in reference to the kids. 

__

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“Great.” Peter twisted in his seat to look at him. “We can swim all afternoon if you want.” Sam studied him, as if trying to decipher whether or not it was a trick, and then smiled tentatively. Peter counted that as a win.

__

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* * *

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“This is disgusting.” Natasha wiped some sunscreen off her arm, looking unimpressed. Peter was beginning to wonder if she had other emotions.

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“Can we go in now?” Steve asked for the third time in as many minutes.

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“I’m bored,” Bucky announced to no one in particular.

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“Everyone needs to wait at least ten minutes before they go in, okay?” Peter said. “I already said this, guys. The sunscreen is going to wash off otherwise. Oh, wait. Does everyone know how to swim?”

__

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Most of the kids nodded, but Natasha took a sudden interest in her feet. “Natasha?” Peter asked gently.

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“I never learned.” She dragged one foot along the ground. “There was no time.”

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“Okay, that’s okay!” Peter said hastily. “Thanks for telling me. Seven more minutes, and then you guys can get in, okay? Natasha, I want you to stay in the shallow end for now.”

__

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“I’ll stay in the shallow end too, then,” Clint said. Natasha looked a little happier, and she moved to stand beside him. 

__

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Inwardly, Peter smiled. He could get used to this.   
  
  


__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i said that natasha was six, but i've decided to make her eight instead. i will be going back and correcting this. for reference, here are the kids' ages.
> 
> natasha: age 8  
> steve: age 11  
> thor: age 12  
> loki: age 7  
> bucky: age 10  
> clint: age 9  
> sam: age 7  
> wanda: age 3
> 
> hopefully that clears everything up. please review!! i love reading what you have to say.


	5. it's been so long since i last felt fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky can't stop fighting, Natasha makes a new friend, and Tony and Peter are counting down the days until they can send them off to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! so it was a little longer of a wait than i thought it would be (honestly i write these chapters and then i just don't upload them because i hate having to format them) but i hope you enjoy! please stay safe!

august twentieth

The kids had been so good all afternoon that Peter thought he could be excused for being lulled into a false sense of security. After lunch and several hours in the pool, they had gotten out with only minimal complaining, dried off, and began playing quietly in the playroom. Peter was contemplating whether or not to order pizza for dinner when Steve knocked over Bucky’s block tower, seemingly on purpose, and it all went to shit.

“Fuck off, Steve!” Bucky shrieked, shoving him hard in the chest. 

Steve stumbled backwards, caught himself on the arm of the couch, and kicked Bucky’s legs out from under him. “I hate you!”

“You’re a cunt, Steve,” Natasha said calmly, barely looking up from her book. Peter flinched at the casual way she used the word-  _ why is that even in her vocabulary anyway?  _

“Guys,” Peter tried in vain, “Guys, you all need to calm down-”

“My mom says that girls like her grow up to be  _ whores, _ ” Steve sneered, and Natasha actually flinched before she punched him in the face. Steve toppled backwards and smacked his head on the coffee table. Clint turned around and ran out of the room. 

“That was so cool,” Bucky said reverently, staring at Natasha. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

“I hate everyone!” Steve had struggled back to his feet,and he spun and shoved Wanda over. She immediately began to cry, and Bucky held out his arms to her.

“Steve!” Peter shouted. “Go to your room!”   


Steve glared up at him. “You’re not my dad! You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Well, actually, I am in charge of you for the time being-”

“Ooh, Steve’s a baby,” Bucky interrupted loudly. “He needs to go to his room and take a nap!”

“I agree,” Natasha said, smirking. 

Peter looked back and forth in horror, having a hard time believing that Captain America of all people would be the one starting all of the fights. Of course, Peter reminded himself, he wasn’t really Cap yet, just a majorly fucked-up eleven-year-old with anger issues, and God, Peter wasn’t equipped to handle this.

“Sam, you should sit next to me and Natasha at dinner!” Bucky called, smiling a little too sharply for his intentions to be completely innocent, and really, that was just great, because all Peter needed was for another kid to take sides.

Sam looked wary, but also happy to be included, and he jumped up from where he had been coloring and went over to Bucky. Natasha gently maneuvered Wanda behind her and hunkered down in a clear fighting stance, and Bucky did the same with Sam.

“You need to stop fighting,” Peter said weakly, already mentally preparing to have to lunge at Steve and hold him back so he couldn’t hurt Bucky.

“What’s going on?” 

Everyone froze, and Peter spun to look at the owner of the new voice. “Oh, h-hey, Mr. Stark!” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Everything’s fine, don’t worry-”

“I’ve got Steve.” Tony cut him off. “You take the rest.”

* * *

Tony had already been having a shitty day. He had had to break up four fights on the way back to New York City, and by the time he got there he was tired and hungry and completely done with Thor and Loki. The reversal seemed fairly easy, and both Thor and Loki were disoriented but came around quickly. Thor gave Tony a huge hug and said that he was “forever indebted to him,” and Loki just disappeared. 

Tony was feeling better by the time the whole thing was over. 

And then Helen Cho asked to speak with him. 

“Tony,” Helen said, “We need to discuss the other kids.”

“Okay,” Tony said. “I don’t know what there is to discuss- I offered to take them, and in like a week you’ll be able to fix them, right? I’ll be fine until then. I’m not totally useless.”   


Helen winced, and Tony got a sudden feeling that something was wrong. “See, that’s the thing. We’re going to need more than a week.”

“Well, that’s not good for me or Peter, but we can handle it. How long?”

Helen paused. “Probably closer to a year?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Tony said. “I must have heard that wrong, because surely you can’t be asking me to watch them for a year?”

“The other option is foster care, Tony, and I don’t think you want to do that.”

“I also don’t want to have them for a goddamn year!” Tony shouted.

“Well, we don’t know if it’ll be that long,” Helen said, keeping her voice level. “That’s just an estimate. We have little to no information about what caused this, and so therefore making an antidote will be much tougher.”

“So I’m just supposed to hide out with seven kids for a year?” Tony asked incredulously. “That seems a little suspicious, right? And what are we supposed to tell the media- that the Avengers are taking a vacation?”

“Pepper is dealing with all of the tabloids, so there’s nothing to worry about there.” Helen rested her hand on Tony’s knee. He let her, but only grudgingly. “Wait. Who’s the seventh?” Her eyebrows drew together.

“Peter, obviously,” Tony said.

“Well, Peter would need to come back here because he has school.” 

“No. I need Peter to help me.”

“ _ Peter _ is going to be a junior,” Helen said. “He can’t just miss school. Besides, the others will be going to school too.”

“I’ll homeschool him if I have to- wait, what?” Tony stared at her. “I can send them to school?”

“There is a school where you’re living, I’m sure.”

“It’s not like I’ve looked into it.” Tony smacked the table. “Because I didn’t think I’d have them for a year!”

“You should definitely send them to school, though,” Helen said. “And you’ll have to talk to Peter and his aunt- I’m sure that they didn’t think this was going to happen.”

“Fine,” Tony conceded. “Anything else I should know?” 

“Look into extracurriculars for all of them. They should all have interests, and you can sign them up for things. It’ll be a good way to make friends, and it’ll cause less fighting when they’re home, too.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“It’ll start to feel more natural.”

“If any of them call me daddy I’m done.”

* * *

After Peter and Tony got all of the kids under control, they ended up ordering pizza and sitting at the table as Tony did his best to give a lecture on fighting. Bucky was indeed sitting with Sam and Natasha, and Clint, who they had found hiding under his bed, had crammed his chair next to theirs as well. Wanda was in her high chair, and Steve was alone on the other side of the table.

“There will be consequences if you continue to fight,” Tony said. “It’s dangerous and someone could get seriously hurt.” 

“Whatever,” Bucky mumbled. Tony gave him a sharp look.

“I don’t appreciate you talking to me like that.” 

Bucky ignored him, but it wasn’t like Tony had been expecting anything different.

“We actually need to talk about school, though,” Tony said, effectively getting the attention of all the kids. Peter was missing from the table- as soon as Tony had explained the situation, he had gone upstairs to call May and talk about his options with her.

“I don’t want to go to school,” Steve said loudly.

“Okay, it’s not a choice. So you will, but we’ll get that sorted later. Right now we get to talk about the fun part-” Tony held up multiple brochures- “activities that you guys actually get to choose and participate in!” He handed a brochure to everyone except for Wanda. “Look them over and decide on a few things, okay?”

The table was quiet for a while as the kids flipped through them. 

“Sam, so that activity is-” Tony was cut off by Sam scowling at him.

“I can read! I’ve been able to read since I was three!”

“Okay!” Tony held up his hands. “I was just making sure! A lot of kids your age don’t know how to read.”

Sam’s face scrunched up more. “Well, they’re stupid.”

“Don’t say that,” Tony said, massaging his temple.

“I know what I want to do!” Bucky announced.

“What?” Tony opened his laptop to make a note.

“Ice hockey and this cool kicky sport!”

“Can you show me?”

Bucky pointed. “That one!”

“Oh, taekwondo. Okay, you can do those.”

“I’ve decided too,” Natasha said.

Tony smiled at her. “I bet you want to do ballet, right?” 

She tilted her head. “No. I hate ballet.”

“Really?” Tony asked disbelievingly.

“Yes. Where I was before-” she paused for a moment- “they made me do ballet and I didn’t like it. I want to do something else now.”

“That’s totally fine.” Tony was impressed that she was speaking this much at all. “What do you want to do?”

“Football.”

“Great. Wait.” Tony looked up. “What?”

“This one right here.” She jabbed her finger at a glossy photo of boys with helmets.

Tony sighed. Of course she wanted to play a contact sport with only boys in it. “It looks a little dangerous.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I thought we could choose anything.”

It was a test, and Tony knew it, but he couldn’t bring himself to argue. If she was happy, then who was he to stand in her way? Besides, the boys were young enough that they wouldn’t be so much bigger than her, and he knew that years of conditioning in the Red Room meant that she was more than strong enough to hold her ground.

“I’ll sign you up for it, then.”

“And I want to take piano!” she said quickly.

“Wait, me too!” Bucky interrupted.

“Right, piano lessons for both of you. Who’s next?”

Clint mumbled something under his breath, and Tony leaned closer. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, Clint.”

“Gymnastics?”

“That sounds awesome!” Tony knew he was probably being a little over the top, but he was glad that Clint was interacting, even if it wasn’t that much.

“And that thing Bucky is doing.” Clint looked terrified to be asking anything else. 

“Ice hockey?” Clint shook his head no. “Oh, taekwondo?” He nodded and then went back to staring at the ground.

“Alright, this is looking good. Sam?” Tony prompted gently.

“Soccer and swimming,” he said without any hesitation. 

“Perfect. Steve? Yours has to be non-contact, though. Fury- uh, doctor’s orders.”

“I don’t know.” 

“How about ceramics?” Tony asked. “That looks like something you might like.”

“I don’t care. I’ll do whatever.” Steve crammed an entire piece of pizza into his mouth, effectively ending the conversation.

In the end, Tony ended up signing Steve up for ceramics and swimming, and even found a toddler tumbling class for Wanda. He set them all in the living room, turned on Moana, and went back into the kitchen to do cleanup.

“Hey, Mr. Stark.” 

“Oh!” Tony turned around. “Pete! There’s pizza in the fridge for you.”

“Yeah, um, I was just talking to May? And I think I’m going to stay here? If it’s okay with you?”

“Are you serious?” Tony said. “Of course it’s okay with me. I’m so glad you’re staying! I need your help.”

Peter rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Yeah, yeah. I’m just staying because I think colleges will be impressed to see that I was homeschooled by Tony Stark.”

“I don’t even care about your reasons, I’m just glad I have another person here who’s older than a pre-teen.”

“What are they doing now?”

“I put on a movie. By the way, we’re going school shopping tomorrow for their things.”

Peter didn’t appear to be paying too much attention as he tapped away on his phone. “Uh, yeah, that’s fine. I’m going to go talk to Ned, okay?”

Tony nodded. “Sure. Can you help with bedtime?”

“Yeah, just get me when you’re ready.” Peter was already heading towards the stairs.

Someone- presumably Bucky, from the way it sounded- shrieked from the living room, and Tony sighed. Honestly, these kids were going to kill him.

* * *

august twenty-first

“I don’t want that one,” Steve said. They had been shopping for about an hour now, and all of the kids were clearly getting tired.

“Well, you have to choose one,” Tony responded. “How about this one, then?” He held out a blue backpack enticingly.

Steve folded his arms. “I want the one that Bucky has.”

Bucky scowled. “You can’t have that one! It’s mine!”

“Steve,” Peter said quickly, “I have a great idea! How about you come with me and look for a backpack. You can have the same one that Bucky has, but then people might think that you’re the same age, and you want people to know that you’re the oldest, right?”

This seemed to appease Steve, and he trotted off with Peter, returning with an all-black bag and matching lunchbox.

Tony was reading off school supply lists as they walked up and down the aisles. They were slightly different for each grade, and he was having trouble keeping track of all of it. He wished that he had thought to print them out. 

“Oh, Natasha, your football practices start today, okay? So we’ll go get everyone’s athletic equipment after this.” Tony wasn’t looking forward to dragging all of them into another store, but he knew that they would have to be fitted for equipment.

“What gorgeous children you have!” a lady with a large sunhat on cooed. Natasha stared at her warily, and Clint started backing away.

“Thank you!” Tony said hastily before anything could inevitably happen. “I appreciate it. Come on, guys, let’s go check out.” Peter took Wanda out of the cart and held her as Tony quickly unloaded everything and paid, trying his best to hide the total from Clint and Bucky, who were peering over his shoulders.

“Are you rich?” Clint asked him as they were walking out.

Tony considered before he spoke. “I’m lucky to not have to worry about money, and it’s not something that you need to worry about either. I promise I will always take care of you. Money isn’t a concern.” Clint nodded, but he didn’t look fully convinced.

The car ride to the sports shop was quick (everything in this town was so close together) but Tony could already see a couple of the kids beginning to lag. They had been out all morning, and he wished he had thought to pack snacks for them.

“We’ll get lunch after this,” Tony promised as he herded all of them inside. “Bucky and Clint, Peter will take you to find ice hockey, gymnastics, and taekwondo gear, all right? The rest of you are going to come with me.” The football stuff was right in the front, and Tony stopped there first. “Let’s see-” he consulted his list- “You need pads, a helmet, a mouthguard, cleats, socks, and gloves. They’ll give you a jersey.”

“Thank you,” Natasha whispered as she was trying on the cleats. Tony felt warmth spread through his chest.

“You’re welcome. I hope you have a lot of fun.”

Natasha looked a little confused but nodded anyway, and Tony wanted to punch a wall. She was just a little girl. Fuck the Red Room for ruining her childhood. 

For the first time, he felt something akin to happiness that they would be children for a little longer. 

* * *

“I’ll stay the entire time,” Tony told Natasha as he was driving her to football. “It’s your first practice, so I want to see how it’s run.”

“Okay,” Natasha said from the backseat, turning her new helmet over and over in her hands.

“Are you excited?” Tony asked carefully, not wanting to upset her and cause her to shut down right before she had to go interact with a large group of people.

Natasha shrugged, but then nodded. “I think that it will be fun.” 

“I’m glad,” Tony said, smiling at her in the rearview mirror.

“And also-” Natasha broke off, looking uncharacteristically shy, “I want a friend.” Her face became slightly pink as she stared resolutely at her helmet.

“Well, I’m sure that you’ll make friends here,” Tony said. Internally, he was reeling. He couldn’t believe that Natasha had shared something like that with him.

Natasha just shrugged, reverting back to silence. When they got there, Tony introduced himself and Natasha to the coach, a friendly, middle-aged man with two missing teeth, and settled back on the bleachers, keeping one eye on the practice as he texted Peter.

Tony: Everything okay?

Underoos: Theyre eating leftover pizza

Underoos: Nothings broken so far

Underoos: But no promises

Underoos: Nvm Steve just hit Bucky gtg

Tony: Call me if you need me.

Underoos: asufaibngieofsmi

Underoos: Sry that was Wanda

Underoos: She grabbed my phone when i was breaking up the fight

Tony: Is anybody hurt?

Underoos: No but Clint ran off  again

Underoos: Gtg find him

Underoos: Is it 2 late 2 go back 2 NYC

Tony: Yes.

He turned off his phone and watched as the kids broke into pairs for drills. It seemed like most of the kids knew each other already, and he could see Natasha biting her lip until a kid with sandy blond hair went up to her. Even from a distance, he could see her shy smile as they began passing to each other. The rest of the practice went by quickly, and Tony watched as Natasha packed up and made a 

beeline for him, with the kid that she had been passing with in tow.

“This is Peter,” Natasha announced. 

The kid beamed. “Me and Natasha already made plans to sit next to each other in school and partner for everything!”

“Nice to meet you, Peter,” Tony said. “Will your parents be here soon?” He was anxious to get home, but he also didn’t want to leave the kid here by himself.

Peter’s whole face fell. “My mom died two years ago and I never had a dad, so now I’m with a foster family. They said if I want to do football I have to walk home, because they don’t have time to drive me.”

“We can drive you home if you want,” Tony offered.

“No, it’s okay.” Peter seemed to be closing in on himself. “They might- they might get mad if they see that I got in a car with someone else, so I’ll just walk. It’s not that far.”

“Okay,” Natasha said, shrugging. “I see you soon, then.”

“Bye!” Peter turned, hefting his football bag over his shoulder, and began walking.

Tony watched Natasha as she stared after him, and a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach formed that didn’t go away for the rest of the day.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment- i will respond, and it will make my day. also, did everyone catch who natasha's new friend is?


	6. and love is not a victory march

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first days, therapists, and more fighting. no, seriously, do steve and bucky ever stop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, guys! i realized that i might have made this a little confusing. in my version, only a few of the superheroes helped save the world. the rest are normal (some adults, some kids) and will be popping up at various points throughout the story. for clarification, anyone who first shows up in colorado is not someone tony knows prior to this story, unless explicitly stated (rhodey might come to visit at some point, for example). so, peter quill is just a normal kid. i hope that this cleared it up, and please don't hesitate to ask if there's anything else confusing you!
> 
> also, thank you so much for all the nice comments that you left!

august thirty-first

“Have fun, guys!” Tony said, waving to the four oldest as they joined the throng of children heading into the school building, some with more excitement than others. Natasha had already found Peter, and she was talking animatedly to him as they went inside. Tony had made Bucky and Steve promise earlier that they would be nice to each other, and he was happy to see that they were walking side-by-side. Clint seemed the least enthused, and he was dragging his feet and looking at the ground. Tony sighed, pulling around to the separate kindergarten entrance.

“Okay, Sam!” Peter said cheerily. “Ready?”

“Yes!” Sam was practically vibrating with excitement.

“All right. I’ll walk you in, then. Say goodbye!” 

“Bye, Wanda!” Sam yelled. “Bye, um-” He paused. “What should I call you?” 

“Uh-” Tony looked at Peter helplessly- “What about Uncle Tony?”

“Okay! Bye, Uncle Tony!”

“Bye, Sam.” Tony turned to Wanda, who was sitting calmly in her car seat. “You have your first tumbling class today, darling.”

“Tumbling class,” Wanda repeated. 

About four days ago, Wanda had simply begun talking, at what Tony thought might even be a slightly advanced level for a three year old. He was very happy to see that she had language skills, but less happy to see that every night since then, she had woken up with nightmares. He couldn’t figure out why, but both he and Peter were losing a lot of sleep over it. 

“Where Pietro?” Wanda asked. Her brother had also been a current theme for the past few days, but she never seemed too upset about it.

“He’s not here right now, but I’m sure you’ll see him soon,” Tony said, his standard response when she asked about him. 

“ Okay!” Wanda bounced in her car seat.

“I’m back!” Peter said, climbing in the passenger seat. “Sorry that took so long, the teacher wanted everyone to stay for an introduction- oh yeah, I signed you up for some stuff, by the way-”

“Like what?” Tony asked incredulously.

“Uh, like to bring in cupcakes for their Halloween party or something, I don’t really know,” Peter explained, making funny faces at Wanda. She laughed and reached out her hands for him.

“Halloween is in two months,” Tony complained.

“Yeah, so you have a lot of time, and she’ll send out a group text too.” 

“Whatever,” Tony muttered. “How did Sam seem?” 

“Sam!” Wanda interjected. “I like Sam!”

“I know you do,” Peter said, grinning at her. “He seemed really excited.”

“I’m worried about Clint,” Tony said. “I’m afraid he won’t integrate well.”

“Well, first days are always hard.” Peter had pulled his phone out and his fingers were flying over the screen now.

“Who are you texting?” Tony sighed. “Pete, I thought the rule was no screens in the car.”

“But you let Bucky use his iPad on the way to Clint’s gymnastics,” Peter complained. 

“Okay, first of all, it’s a StarkPad, don’t disrespect my technology, and second of all-” Tony cut himself off. “Why am I arguing about screen time with you?”

“I guess you’re just always in dad mode,” Peter said, smirking. 

“Dad!” Wanda yelled. “Dad! Dad! Dad!”

Tony ignored her. He knew by now that she wasn't actually trying to get his attention, she was just repeating things she heard. “Pete, just get off your phone. You’re supposed to be setting an example.”

“Fine,” Peter sighed, shoving it into his pocket. “Are you happy now?” 

“I’m still mad that the first real words out of Wanda’s mouth were her calling me a fucker.”

“For the last time, that was Bucky’s fault,” Peter muttered. 

* * *

T ony pulled up outside the school. Six hours had flown by, with Wanda’s tumbling and Peter’s “homeschooling,” not to mention the chores he had to do. Why did the kids seem to go through five changes of clothes a day? The pickup line was crawling, and Tony looked over at Peter. 

“That phone better be put in your pocket before the kids get in.”

“Yeah, yeah, it will be,” Peter said, engrossed in the level of some game he was playing. Tony didn’t know the name. 

“Hi,” Natasha said. Tony jumped in surprise.

“Hey, Nat. How was your day?”

“Fine. Peter and I- wait.” Her eyes narrowed. “How come he gets to be on his phone?”

“Peter, I told you to put it away!” Tony said in exasperation.

“Sorry,” Peter said sheepishly. “In my defense, I didn’t know that she had gotten in the car.”

“I want to be on my StarkPad, then!” Natasha said.

“No, sorry,” Tony replied. “I’m sticking to the no screens rule in the car.”

“But that’s not fair!” Natasha replied. 

“What’s not fair?” Bucky asked as he got in, with Steve lagging slightly behind.

“Nothing,” Tony said, hoping that Natasha would get the hint. Unfortunately, the little assassin's people-reading skills seemed to have disappeared with her age as well.

“Peter got to be on his phone!” Natasha tattled.

Steve frowned. “But I thought the rule was-”

“Well, I was allowed to break the rule yesterday,” Bucky butted in, smirking and clearly trying to cause a problem. “I was allowed to be on my StarkPad for the entire car ride to Clint’s gymnastics!”

_ What a little shit, _ Tony thought to himself, not for the first time.

Natasha looked outraged. “They both got to break the rule?” 

“How come I can’t break the rule?” Steve complained.

“Guys, everyone needs to shut up- be quiet- please,” Tony said, giving Peter the stink eye.

“Shut up!” Wanda contributed, clapping her hands together. The door opened again, and Clint got in quietly. 

“Clint!” Bucky looked genuinely happy to see him, which was interesting. “How was school? Did you make friends?”

Clint shrugged, but he was smiling slightly. “One kid invited me to sit with him at lunch. But I don’t think he has any friends either because he sits alone.”

“I’m glad you had someone to sit with,” Tony said, choosing to disregard the second half of his statement. “Steve? Bucky? How was your day?”

“It was good!” Bucky said immediately. “I made three friends! Their names are Gamora, Draconius, but he goes by Drax, and Darcy!” Tony still couldn’t get over how much the normally broody assassin talked as a kid. 

“I hope you included Steve,” Tony said. “I’m happy you made friends, though.” 

Bucky pouted. “Steve didn’t wanna play with us.”

“Why not?” Tony asked.

“They were mean to me!” Steve said. “Bucky said I was a pussy!”

“Bucky!” Tony yelped. “Did you say that?”

“Well, yeah, but only because Steve didn’t want to go on the jungle gym!” Bucky retorted. 

“Pussy!” Wanda sang. “Pussy!”

“I don’t want to hear that type of language from any of you,” Tony said. “You’re setting a bad example for Wanda. Bucky, please be nice to Steve.” The kids sat in silence as he pulled up to the kindergarten pick-up area. Sam was outside with the teacher and a few other kids, but he ran up to the car as soon as he saw it. 

“Hi, Uncle Tony!”

“Hey, Sam!” Tony attempted to match his level of enthusiasm. “How was school?” Sam fumbled with the door before finally dragging it open and buckling himself in. 

“It was so good! We got to draw pictures and watch a video and-”

“Wait,” Natasha cut in. “How come you called him Uncle Tony?”

Sam faltered. “He said I could.”

“But you’re not his real uncle!” Bucky interrupted. 

“You guys are different colors!” Steve chimed in.

“Well- well- he said I could!” Sam insisted, his lip wobbling. “Uncle Tony, tell them!”

“Sam is right, you guys,” Tony said. “All of you can call me Uncle Tony, okay?”

“I don’t want to,” Bucky said. “You’re not my real uncle.” 

“Well, you have to call me something,” Tony said wearily. 

“I’m going to call you...Mr. Tony!” Bucky decided triumphantly.

“That works too,” Tony said. 

“How come Peter calls you Mr. Stark?” Natasha asked suddenly. Her eyes narrowed. “I thought you said he was your son.” Tony exchanged a panicked glance with Peter. 

“I just call him that as a joke sometimes!” Peter said hurriedly. “I usually call him Dad, though.”

“It’s true,” Tony confirmed. “He does call me Dad. Because I am. His dad, I mean. And he’s my son.”

“Then where’s his mom?” Natasha said, still looking unconvinced.

“She, um, died!” Peter said. “A long time ago. While she was giving birth to me, actually!”

“Oh.” Natasha mulled this over. “Okay.”

“You can die from giving birth?” Steve said.

“Of course you can, stupid!” Bucky sneered.

“Hey!” Tony sighed. “Bucky, come on. What did I say about name-calling?”

“Sorry, Steve,” Bucky said extremely unconvincingly.

“Wait. Does it hurt to give birth?” Steve asked.

“No,” Bucky said, sounding extremely confident. “The doctor puts their hands on the woman’s belly and then the baby pops out.”

“Pops out where, though?” Sam wondered.

“All right!” Tony elbowed Peter, who looked dangerously close to popping a vein in his forehead because of how hard he was trying not to laugh. “We’re here!”

“Where?” Natasha asked.

“He’s giving us back,” Clint mumbled. Tony startled. He had almost forgotten Clint was in the car.

“You’re giving us back?” Sam said.

“I’m not giving you back,” Tony sighed. “I said I wouldn’t give you back, and I meant it.” The children looked unconvinced. “This is actually a therapist. All of you will have weekly one-on-one meetings with her.”

“We’re going to be here forever,” Bucky moaned. 

“Well, that’s why I brought StarkPads for all of you,” Tony said.

“Never mind,” Bucky decided. “We can stay as long as you want.”

The therapist met them at the door. Tony had picked a woman on purpose, thinking that it might make them feel more comfortable. 

“Tony Stark, right?” The woman reached out her hand, and Tony barely hid a wince as her grip mangled his fingers. “I’m Carol Danvers. It’s nice to meet you and your children. Let’s go inside, shall we?”

The waiting room was brightly colored. A stack of children’s books lay on one table, and there were comfortable-looking couches and chairs spread around. The kids immediately scrambled with their StarkPads to find seats. 

“So, Mr. Stark,” Carol said. “Who would you like to start with?”

“I was thinking we would go oldest to youngest,” Tony said. “And please call me Tony.”

“Okay, Tony.” Carol shrugged. “That’s fine with me. Steve is the oldest, correct?”

“Yeah, that’s him over there.” Tony pointed and then lowered his voice slightly. “You were, um, briefed on our...situation, right?”

“I was,” Carol said. “This introductory session is just going to be for me to get to know them a little better and see if I can diagnose any major issues.”

“Great.” Tony let out a relieved sigh. “Then I guess I’ll just let you get to it, then.”

“Steve?” Carol called. “You’re first, okay, buddy?”

“Why do I have to go first?” Steve whined. 

“Because we’re going oldest to youngest. Don’t worry, everyone will be having a turn, even Tony.” Carol held out her hand, and although Steve didn’t take it, he did stop complaining. The door swung shut behind them, and Tony tried to relax.

* * *

“So, Steve, how are you feeling?”

“Bad.” Steve didn’t even look up from the blocks he was moving around.

“Can you tell me why?”

“Everyone is lying to me.”

Carol wrote something down. “What are they saying that’s a lie?”

“They said that it’s 2018, but it’s not!”

“Well, Steve,” Carol said calmly, “has it ever occured to you that they might be telling the truth?”

Steve stared back at her. “Then why am I here?” And he began to cry. Carol handed him a tissue.

“It’s hard to explain, but you should know that you’re being well taken care of. Is there anything else that you’d like to tell me?”

“You’re going to tell Mr. Tony,” Steve sniffled. 

“Steve, I want you to look at me, because this is important for you to understand.” Carol waited until he lifted his head. “Unless what you tell me is dangerous to you or someone else, I will not tell Tony anything you say in here. That is a promise.”

“Bucky is really mean to me,” Steve muttered. 

“Who’s Bucky?” Carol asked, scribbling some more stuff down.

“He’s my best friend,” Steve whined. “And he’s here with me.”

“Why do you think he’s mean to you?”

“I don’t know.” There was a pause. “Can I be done now?”

“If you want to be.”

“Okay.” Steve got up and ran for the door.

* * *

“How are you today, Bucky?”

“I hate it here.”

“Why?”

“I just do. And I don’t like Mr. Tony.”

“Why don’t you like him?”

“He’s lying to us.”

“What is he lying to you about?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem!”

“Do you know what year it is?”

“Yeah. 2018.”

“Was that a shock for you?”

“Does it matter if it was? It’s not like anybody cares.”

* * *

“It’s nice to meet you, Clint.”

“Nice to meet you too, ma’am.”

“Please, call me Carol. How are you?”

“Fine, I guess. There’s a lot of food.”

“How do you feel about Tony?”

“He’s fine.”

“Do you feel safe with him?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“I’m just wondering how you feel about staying with him.”

“Can I be done?”

“If you want.”

* * *

“It’s Natasha, right?”

“As if you don’t already know.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Why am I here?”

“Where should you be?”

“Russia.”

“What would you be doing in Russia?”

“Training.”

“I see. Do you like being here?”

“No.”

“Why not?” 

“It’s confusing.”

“What’s confusing about it?”

“Everything. I don’t understand how I got here, and no one will tell me!”

“That must be frustrating.”

“I want to go back to Russia.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew what to expect there.”

“Okay, Natasha. Thank you for sharing. You can be done if you want.”

“How much time do I have left?”

“About fifteen minutes.”   


“Can I sit in here until my time is up?”

“If you want.”

* * *

“Hi, Sam. How are you?”

“Okay! School is a lot of fun.”

“Do you like school?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like Tony?”

“Yeah, but I don’t understand why I’m living with him now.”

“Who else would you be living with?”

“My mom. Uncle Tony said that she died, but I don’t think that that’s true.”

“Why would Uncle Tony lie to you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because he’s a bad person.”

“Do you think that he’s a bad person?”

“He seems okay so far. I just really want my mom.”

* * *

Tony was finally relaxing on the couch after putting all of the kids to bed. Most nights it was close to a two-hour process, and he was usually ready to go to sleep right after. Peter had already said good night and retired to his room. 

Wait. Tony paused as a thought came to him. Didn’t one of the kids have a birthday coming up? He quickly pulled up their files, and sure enough, Natasha’s was right in the middle of September. He would have to start talking to her about a birthday party. He covered his mouth as he yawned deeply. Getting up, he checked that all of the kids’ backpacks were ready for the next day, and that the sports bags were too. Tony mentally ran through what was happening tomorrow. School, then taekwondo for Clint and Bucky. Tony would have to drop them off and then take Sam straight to soccer, which meant that Peter would have to be responsible for driving Steve to his ceramics class. Then on the way back from picking Clint and Bucky up, Natasha would need to be dropped off at piano. Tony was exhausted just thinking about it.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter said from the doorway. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be going to bed soon, but I’m going to call Shuri first.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Don’t stay up past eleven, though,” Tony said. “I’m going to be checking on you.”

“I know, I know,” Peter sighed. “I won’t.”

“Am I acting like such a dad?” Tony suddenly gasped, horrified. “Oh my God, I am, aren’t I.”

Peter just smirked. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a lot of free time at the moment, so i am taking prompt fill requests for one-shots only. please send me a private message or comment below with a prompt that you'd like to see written, and i will do my best! i'll do my best with the pairings- i write both het and slash, for reference. it would be helpful but not necessary if you give me your archive username, so i can make it a gift. 
> 
> thanks so much, and don't forget to comment and let me know how you liked this chapter!


	7. afraid to be alone again (i hate this)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one rough day leads to discoveries and bonding, and someone's birthday is coming up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey remember me? sorry about the accidental month-long hiatus. it shouldn't happen again. this chapter is a decent length to make up for it, and the next one should be coming out very soon!
> 
> i hope you're all staying safe and healthy. thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting- i appreciate all of you always, but especially during this time. 
> 
> want to chat? have a fic idea? want to collaborate? email me at: sammysummers16@gmail.com! i will absolutely respond (probably in a timely manner) and i promise i'm really friendly!

september thirteenth

Tony had noticed a drastic difference in the children in the two weeks that they had had school so far. There were less fights and less crying, but a lot more backtalk and complaining. Carol had repeatedly reassured Tony that this was actually a good thing- the kids were beginning to feel secure enough to voice their unhappiness, and so he tried to view it as such, even though it was hard when Bucky was flat-out refusing to do his math homework for the third night in a row. 

His main problem right now was the media. Pepper had been doing an amazing job handling it so far, but they got more pushy every day, and Tony couldn’t blame them. He would be confused if all the superheroes suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth too. He was growing increasingly paranoid that one of the kids was going to figure out what was going on, and as a result he heavily monitored their internet usage, making sure to steer them away from any news sites.

Overall, though, Tony was happy with how things were going. Clint had been talking a lot more, and now it was hard to get him to be quiet sometimes. Steve and Bucky were always busy with their after-school activities, so they had stopped fighting quite so much at home. Natasha was still reserved, but she and her friend Peter seemed to be joined at the hip these days, whether it was at school or football practice, and she seemed content.

Of course, Tony couldn’t have predicted how September thirteenth would go.

It was bad from the second he woke up- Wanda had been up a record three times last night and so he had overslept, which by extension meant that the whole household had overslept. He frantically woke up Peter first and then the others, but most of them had also been woken up by Wanda’s screams at two in the morning and were extremely cranky and slow-moving.

“Sam!” Tony burst into his room for a third time. “Come on, you’re going to be late to school!”

“I don’t want to go!” Sam screamed from under his blankets. Tony pulled the blankets off and tried to pick him up, but Sam clung to the headboard with all his strength. “No! I’m not going! I hate it! I hate you!”

“You don’t get a choice,” Tony grunted, wrestling his pajamas off and jamming pants on.

“You’re not my real uncle!” Sam screamed. “Don’t touch me!” 

“Mr. Tony!” Bucky hollered from the hallway. “Come quick! Steve’s having an asthma attack!”

“Shit!” Tony swore, leaping up. “Sam, you better be dressed by the time I come back in here!” He sprinted down the hallway. 

“Mr. Tony!” Bucky was in hysterics by the time he skidded into Steve’s room. “Steve can’t breathe! He’s going to die!” Bucky’s face crumpled and he began sobbing.

“He’s not going to die,” Tony panted, digging through Steve’s nightstand. “Where the fuck is his inhaler? Peter!”

“What?” Peter screamed from down the hall.

“Where’s Steve’s inhaler?”

“I don’t know! Check his backpack, I’m dealing with Wanda! She’s crying again!” 

“Here!” Bucky said. Steve was shaking and beginning turning blue. Tony hastily jammed the inhaler into his mouth, harder than he meant to.

“Okay, deep breaths, you’re okay,” he said, rubbing Steve’s back. “Bucky, go get dressed. You have to go to school today.”

“I’m not going if Steve’s not going,” Bucky said.

“Steve is going, and I’m not arguing. Go.” Tony pointed towards the door. “And go get Sam out of bed if he’s not, please?”

“What about Natasha and Clint?” Bucky asked.

“They’re not up either?” Tony moaned.

Bucky peeked into the hallway. “Clint is, but Natasha isn’t,” he reported. “Also Clint isn’t wearing clothes.”

“Then get Natasha up too. And tell them both to get dressed. Steve, are you feeling better?” 

“I guess.” Steve shrugged, but his breath was definitely coming easier. “Do I have to go to school?”

“Yes!” Tony said a little more sharply than intended. “Everyone has to go to school! What is going on today? I know you guys are tired, but that’s not an excuse.”

“Fine,” Steve said sullenly. “Get out so I can get dressed, then.”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” Tony warned. 

“Okay, stay,” Steve said. He scowled and set his jaw, and oh, that face was pure Captain America. “Be a pedophile. I don’t care.”

“Enough, Steve,” Tony sighed, vaguely wondering if sobriety was really a healthy lifestyle choice. “Just get ready. I can’t argue with you right now. I need to go deal with the other kids.”

“Dad!” Peter called. “I need some help with Wanda!” Tony ran into Natasha in the hallway on his way. Her eyes were half-closed and she was scowling.

“Natasha, go get dressed.”

“No.”

“Then you’re wearing your pajamas to school,” Tony threatened weakly. She shrugged and shut the door to the bathroom in his face.

“I want to wear pajamas to school!” Bucky said from his room. Tony chose to ignore him.

“What’s going on, Peter?” Peter looked up at him wearily from where he was trying to dress a howling Wanda. 

“Um, she’s upset. Clearly.” He tried to stroke her hair but she jerked away from him, wailing. Little rivulets of snot were running down her face, and Tony shuddered.

“Great,” Tony muttered. “If you can’t get her dressed, then just forget it. You can stay home with her while I drive the others.” There was a loud crash. “What was that?”

“Bucky and Sam fell down the stairs!” Clint hollered. 

“Shit!” Tony skidded around the corner to the stairwell. “Are you guys okay?”

“I fell on my wrist,” Bucky moaned from the bottom. Sam wasn’t talking at all. 

“Sam?” Tony said. Sam turned his head but didn’t respond. “Goddamnit.”

“I think he’s dead,” Bucky shrieked, holding his wrist and beginning to cry again.

“He’s not dead,” Tony said, trying and failing to suppress an eye roll. “For God’s sake, he just moved, Bucky. Let me look at him.” He crouched down. 

“M’head hurts,” Sam mumbled, closing his eyes. “M’sleepy.”

“Fuck,” Tony swore. “Okay, we have to go to the hospital.”

“No,” Sam groaned. He pushed himself into a sitting position, swayed, and then vomited all over himself.

“Yes,” Tony said. “Absolutely yes. You clearly have a concussion, and we should get your wrist looked at, Bucky.” He paused and looked at everyone else, who had gathered at the top of the stairs. Natasha in her pajamas and unbrushed hair. Clint completely naked with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, tears in his eyes. Steve in only pants, wheezing heavily again. And Peter in his pajamas, struggling to keep a grip on a crying Wanda. 

“Pete, call the school and tell them that no one’s coming in today. And for the love of God, Clint, please put on some underwear.” At least that last statement made Bucky laugh. Tony would take the small victory.

“I don’t like doctors,” Sam whined, twisting in Tony’s lap to stare at him. They had been waiting in the emergency room for over an hour. The receptionist had deemed their injuries non-essential and told them to take a seat. Unfortunately for the kids, and Tony’s head, there wasn’t much to do in the waiting room. Except, apparently, complaining. There was plenty of that happening.

“I don’t know why I have to be here,” Steve grumped, crossing his skinny arms over his chest. “Natasha and Clint got to stay with Peter.”

“For the last time, if we’re going to be here anyway then it makes sense to get your asthma checked out,” Tony said in exasperation. “I’ve said that three times already.”

“But it’s not fair that they get to stay home and play games! They should have had to come with us!” Steve insisted. 

“I’ve already said that I don’t like when you say that things aren’t fair,” Tony reprimanded gently. “They’re not sick or hurt, so there’s no reason to bring them. They would just be in the way of people who actually need treatment.”

“I’m not sick or hurt,” Bucky complained. 

Tony eyed his swollen wrist skeptically. “Somehow I doubt that.” He checked his watch and sighed. “Look, guys, it’s only 10 in the morning. We’ll be home soon, and if you’re good then we’ll stop to get a treat on the way back.”

Sam perked up. “McDonalds?”

“Maybe,” Tony said. “Stop moving. You’re going to hurt your head worse.” Sam pouted but sat still.

“What do you think they’re doing at home?” Steve asked. 

“Something really boring,” Tony said quickly. Anything to stop Steve going off on another tangent about how much more fun the house was.

Thankfully, Bucky seemed to agree. “Yeah! I bet they’re just taking a nap and waiting for us to get back!”

* * *

“Natasha! Clint!” Peter whisper-shouted, trying not to wake up Wanda, who had finally fallen asleep on his lap. “Stop jumping on the couch!” Natasha stuck out her tongue at him. “One of you is going to get hurt! You saw what happened to Bucky and Sam!”

“I’m careful!” Natasha bragged. “Just because my brothers are stupid doesn’t mean I am!” Peter’s eyes widened at that statement, and he decided to ignore the name calling.

“Did you just call them your brothers?” he asked carefully. Natasha finally paused in her bouncing, but Clint kept going.

“Yes.” She paused. “They’re kind of like my brothers, right?” 

“Well, yeah,” Peter said. “Yeah, sure.” Natasha eyed him and then shrugged. 

“Clint is my favorite brother.”

“Don’t pick favorites,” Peter said. “You can love all of them the same.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t love them.”

“I love you, Natasha,” Clint said, grinning and poking her in the side.

She frowned, but the twitch of her lips betrayed her amusement. “Fine. I only love Clint. I’m...okay with the others.” 

Peter let it go for now. “If you guys stop jumping, we can watch a movie. How does that sound?”

“Nope!” Clint said. “This is more fun!” He whacked Natasha with a pillow, and she squealed, jumping onto one of the loveseats to get away.

“What about a blanket fort?” Peter tried. The kids paused and turned to him.

“What’s a blanket fort?” Natasha asked. 

Peter’s eyes widened and he gently lifted Wanda off of his lap and onto the couch next to him. “You don’t know what a blanket fort is? Come here.” Clint and Natasha moved closer to him, watching intently, as he began grabbing chairs from the dining room. “So we use the chairs as supports, and then we drape blankets over them.” They quickly got into it, and in no time the fort was built. Peter was proud of himself. 

“I’m going to stay in here forever!” Clint announced, diving inside.

“Me too!” Natasha said. Peter blew out a relieved sigh as they finally quieted down and began reading their books. Percy Jackson for Natasha, and Little Women for Clint. Wanda was still napping, luckily, and he pulled out his phone to snap a quick photo to send to Shuri.

Peter: image.jpg

Peter: i think im a full fledged big brother now

Principessa: omg

Principessa: tell stark to let me visit

Principessa: ill help babysit

Peter: ill ask him

Peter: i havent seen u in so long 

Principessa: we literally spent five years together in the soul stone tho

Peter: ya thats why its so weird not seeing u anymore

Peter: cant u just show up

Peter: its not like my dad can kick u out ur literally next in line for the throne of the most advanced country in the world

Principessa: aww i miss u too

Principessa: did u just call stark ur dad

Peter: oh shit habit

Peter: i have to call him dad in front of the kids or they get sus

Principessa: its cute that u think thats the only reason

Principessa: ask stark abt the visit i have to go

Peter: no whyy we just started talking

Peter: and im just going to ignore that other text

Principessa: im designing a pill that u can take so ur body doesnt need sleep anymore

Principessa: im halfway there already

Peter: legit cant tell if ur joking

Peter: shuri?

* * *

  
  


“How many chicken nuggets do you want?” Tony asked from the front seat as they pulled into the McDonald’s drive through. 

“A hundred!” Bucky responded, picking at a loose thread on his sling.

“Okay, as a guide, you usually have around eight,” Tony sighed. “Leave your sling alone. If I have to tell you again you’re going to be my clean-up helper after dinner tonight.”

Bucky looked pensive. “Thirty.”

“I’m ordering ten for you,” Tony decided. “Steve and Sam?”

“Two hamburgers?” Steve asked, concentrating on drawing something on Bucky’s cast with a Sharpie Tony had found on the floor of the car. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know why that was there.

“Sure.”

“Can I get a milkshake?” Sam asked. “I’m not hungry.”

“Okay, if you wa-”  
“Wait, can I get a milkshake too?” Bucky interrupted.

“Um.” Tony considered. “Sure, why not? And what do you think Natasha and Clint want?”

“Chicken nuggets!” Steve said. “And fries!”

“And I know Peter wants a couple of Big Macs,” Tony said. He quickly gave the order to the speaker and pulled up to the next window. “Sam, keep those sunglasses on!”

“The doctor said my concussion wasn’t that bad,” Sam complained, sliding the black sunglasses back on reluctantly.

“Well, it’s better safe than sorry, especially because you threw up.” Tony said firmly. “It’s important to protect your brain.”  
“Too bad Steve didn’t fall down the stairs,” Bucky muttered darkly. “He doesn’t have a brain to be injured.”

“Asshole!” Steve smacked Bucky in his non-injured arm.

“Hey!” Tony cut in. “Do you two want to go back in the shirt when we get home?” The shirt was actually a discipline tactic that he had found online while at the end of his rope one day. Every time Steve and Bucky fought and Tony had to step in, he simply went and got the extra-large men’s shirt he had ordered specifically for this reason and made them both get inside. The amount of fighting that Tony had to resolve went down immediately, and Tony was very proud of himself. The other kids also found it hilarious, which only made Steve and Bucky more determined not to have to wear it, and just the threat of it usually got them to shut up pretty quickly. This time was no different.

“Sorry Mr. Tony,” Bucky said. “Sorry Steve.”

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled. Tony accepted it.

“Can I hold the food on the way home?” Bucky asked.

“No. I want-” Steve cut himself off. “Never mind.”

“Good conflict resolution, Steve!” Tony praised. Carol had said that it was good to acknowledge progress, but based on the weird looks he was now getting, it seemed like maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut. 

“It’s Natasha’s birthday on Sunday,” Sam suddenly announced. Tony whipped his head around and inadvertently jerked the steering wheel to the left. Steve jumped, but Bucky had his face buried in the food bags and didn’t seem to be paying much attention.

“What?” Tony said. “How do you know?”

“Because she told us,” Sam said. 

“Okay, okay.” Tony thought about it. “So we need to have a party for her, right? We’ll have to talk about it when we get home and ask her what she’d like to do.” He couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought to check and see if any of them had a birthday coming up. Lost in his thoughts, the drive home passed quickly. “Guess who brought McDonalds?” Tony announced as he stepped through the doorway. A blur of red came flying out of the living room, shortly followed by Clint with his face in a book.

“Give me!” Natasha said, tugging on the bag.

“Hang on,” Tony said. “Where’s Peter? Let’s all eat together.”

“Okay,” Natasha agreed readily. “Can we watch Frozen?”

“We’ve seen that movie a thousand times,” Bucky groaned. “Isn’t there something else?”

“Lion King!” Clint said. 

“Something not Disney,” Bucky clarified, but a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth as they walked into the living room. Peter gave them a wave and put a finger to his lips, gesturing at Wanda who was, blessedly, sleeping. Tony knew that this would only mess her sleep schedule up more, but he was so thankful for the quiet that he just sighed and hushed the others. Natasha snatched the remote and turned on the TV.

“-gers are still missing,” a woman was saying as she gestured at photos of the team. 

Shit. Fuck. Fuck it all. Tony grabbed for the remote, but he could tell by the looks of horror on the kids’ faces that they recognized themselves.

“Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton- could they be hiding together? This sudden disappearance has only fueled the rumors that these two assassins are in a secret relationship.”

Natasha made an awful whimpering sound, her eyes fixed on the TV, and Clint looked horrified. 

“I kill people?” he said.

“No- yes- give me the remote-” Tony floundered, but Natasha picked it up and hurled it at the wall.

“Is-is that where I got my metal arm?” Bucky said, shaking. “It wasn’t a car accident, was it?”  
“You lied to us!” Steve shrieked.

“I thought I was going to be a good person,” Natasha said quietly. Her eyes were glossy. “I thought someone saved me from the Red Room. But no one did, did they? I grew up and became a killer anyway.”

Tony finally grabbed the remote and shut it off. He looked around, taking in five terrified gazes and Peter’s resigned look. “I’m sorry.” Clint’s head snapped up from where he had been resolutely staring at a spot on the floor. Clearly, none of the kids had expected him to say that. “I should have told you guys the truth, but I didn’t know how to break it to you or if you would even believe me, and you were all scared enough already.”

“I’m a bad person,” Bucky mumbled.

“No,” Tony said firmly. “None of you are bad people. A lot of you have had bad things done to you, but in the end, you all became very, very good people.”

“So you knew us?” Steve said. “When we were old?” 

“Yeah, I did.” Tony tilted his head as he contemplated something. “Wow, you guys are all taking this really well.”

“I mean, it wasn’t like the excuse you gave made much sense,” Bucky said. He rolled his eyes and deepened his voice to imitate Tony. “Yeah, so, um, all of your parents died and you’re coming with me, and also it’s 2024, and that’s as good of an explanation as I can give, no more questions-”

“All right!” Tony interrupted, laughing. The others were also looking happier, and Bucky beamed. “I guess we should have told you.”

“I mean, it all makes sense now,” Clint said. “We were deaged and now we just have to wait for it to go back to normal.”

“Can we still go to school?” Natasha asked.

“Of course!” Tony said immediately. “You can’t tell anybody about, well, this-” he gestured vaguely- “but it might be a while before you become adults again, so I want you all to just enjoy being kids. No responsibilities.” The kids nodded as the mood became somber again. 

“So it’s like a do-over childhood,” Natasha said, nodding decisively. “To make up for the one we never got.”

Tony nodded. “You can think of it like that if you want.”

“Do you think we’ll remember this when we’re old again?” she asked.

“I hope so,” Tony responded truthfully. “You deserve to remember.”

“Mr. Tony?” Bucky asked. His face was open, vulnerable, and Tony suddenly felt a rush of paternal affection for him. “If I’m actually an adult-” he broke off, and a smirk slowly grew over his face. “I don’t have to do homework, right?”

“You still have to do homework,” Tony confirmed. “And also, I just want to say that while I understand that you guys are curious about your old lives, I’m not going to be sharing any more. I don’t want that to be what you’re thinking about. Focus on being kids.”

“Fine,” Steve said. “Can we eat now?”

“Of course.” That seemed to be all the cue that the kids needed, because the bags were immediately set upon with grabby hands. Once everyone was situated with food, Tony turned to the more pressing issue. “Natasha, I heard that it’s your birthday on Sunday. How would you like to celebrate?”  
“Um.” Natasha looked completely overwhelmed. “I don’t know.”

“Would you like to go somewhere?” Peter cut in. “We can start there.”

“Aquarium!” Sam said loudly. 

“Waterpark?” Clint asked. He jabbed Natasha. “Say waterpark!”

“The...zoo?” Natasha said tentatively. “I’ve never been. It might be fun.”

“Great!” Tony said. “Would you like to invite Peter?”

“Can I invite Gamora?” Bucky interrupted. 

“Well, then I want to invite Wade!” Clint added.

“Guys,” Tony said, a warning clear in his tone.

“No, I don’t want to invite Peter,” Natasha said. 

Tony frowned. “Did something happen?” 

“No.” Natasha looked around tentatively and took a deep breath. “I just- kind of- want to spenditwithmyfamily.” 

Tony’s mouth fell open and he quickly shut it with a snap. Peter was looking misty eyed. “That’s so nice,” he said, reaching for Natasha. Surprisingly, she went willingly into Peter’s embrace, smiling from ear to ear.

“Oh, and I want chocolate cupcakes.”

“Done!” After that, there were no more words as Tony put on A New Hope for the kids and quickly felt his eyes begin to droop. Yawning, he tilted his head back and was just drifting off when he felt a warm weight on his side. Looking down, he saw Sam pressing his face into Tony’s shirt. Hesitantly, Tony raised his arm and settled it lightly on the boy’s back, and five minutes later he was asleep. (Yes, Peter did take photos.)

* * *

“Can Shuri come to visit?” Peter asked that night as the kids were getting ready for bed. 

“Shuri, huh?” Tony gave him an assessing glance. “You like her?”

Peter’s whole face turned an interesting shade of scarlet. “No! I mean, yes, of course I like her, but in a best friend way. Not that I think dating her would be bad! Actually, I’m sure dating her would be the opposite of bad, it’s just that-”

“Whoa, kid, slow down,” Tony said, holding up a hand. “I was just teasing. She can come visit if you want.”

“Really?” Peter grinned. “Thanks, Dad! I’ll let her know right now!” He practically sprinted to his room, and Tony smiled, pushing open Natasha’s door to check on her.

“Hey, Tasha. You ready for bed?” 

“Yeah.” Natasha was already under the covers, but her eyes were wide open. “Mr. Tony?”

“What’s up?” Tony ran a hand over her hair gently.

“Can I call you Dad?” Tony didn’t know what his face looked like, but based on Natasha’s reaction, it probably wasn’t very pleasant-looking. “It’s just that I’ve never had a dad before, and I’d really like one, even though I know this isn’t real-”

“Of course you can call me dad,” Tony said, and he was surprised to find that he meant it. “And this is real, it’s reality, isn’t it?” 

“Okay.” Natasha was silent for a moment. “Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Tony hovered for a moment, decided why not, and leaned over to kiss her forehead. Natasha’s eyes were closed, but he could see them crinkle in pleasure. “Good night, Tasha.” He was almost to the door when he heard her response.

“Good night, Dad.” Yeah, he could get used to this.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please consider leaving a comment! they mean so much to me and really encourage me to keep writing. i love you guys!


	8. i think i've seen this film before (and i didn't like the ending)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hi, guys.
> 
> i probably owe you an explanation. first off, i'm so sorry to anyone who's been waiting for the next chapter of this fic for four months now. 
> 
> around the beginning of june, my eating disorder came back. i had kicked it about two years ago, but the combination of gaining a little bit of quarantine weight and not being able to really go anywhere meant that it came back full force. i'm a small human, for reference, and i lost about twenty pounds. that's more than a fifth of what my weight was to start with. luckily, i'm doing better now, which is why i have this chapter. but yeah. that happened and i really wasn't in the headspace to write or do anything besides obsess over calories and watch netflix. i've been getting back into poetry and yoga, which have both really helped. 
> 
> this chapter has been a long time coming. sorry for the wait, and i'm sorry that i can't tell you when the next update will be. i'm better, but still in recovery, and so i haven't exactly been writing regularly.
> 
> this chapter also isn't very long- it was all i could make myself spit out over the course of about a week. hopefully it's okay- my anxiety was telling me that it was awful but i'm putting it out there anyway.
> 
> thanks to everyone who's still supporting this fic. i love you all xx

Peter: S

Peter: H

Peter: U

Peter: R

Principessa: yes?

Peter: I

Peter: hey u cut me off

Principessa: lol sucks to be u :)))

Peter: i resent that

Peter: anyway mr stark says u can come visit

Principessa: really????

Principessa: peterrrrrrr

Principessa: were going to have so much fun 

Principessa: why ru referring to him as mr stark again

Principessa: isnt he ur DADDDDDD

Peter: shut up

Peter: wait

Principessa: whats going on

Principessa: peter   


Peter: sorry 

Peter: DAD (r u happy now) just came into my room and told me to go to bed

Peter: its 9:30

Peter: pls come visit and save me from this madness

Principessa: will talk to tchalla and ask abt borrowing one of our jets

Principessa: oh btw i started following mj on insta

Principessa: shes so cool

Principessa: does she like girls

Peter: shes bi

Peter: she probably wont like u though

Peter: cause ur such an asshole

Principessa: just for that im asking her out

Principessa: well get married and rule wakanda together and u can maybe kiss our feet as long

Principessa: as u wash ur mouth beforehand

Peter: wait r u seriously going to text her

Peter: pls dont i think the two of u would take over the world

Peter: now im scared

Principessa: :)

Peter: shuri?

Peter: SHURI

group chat: imagine being cool (mj is the exception to this because she is, this only refers to peter and ned)

MJ: GUYS SHURI STARTED FOLLOWING ME ON INSTA

MJ: PETER IM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH HER WHAT DO I DO

MJ: SHE JUST TEXTED ME

MJ: PETER IDK IF YOU HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS BUT THANK YOU

Peter: oh no

Peter: i mean

Peter: im really happy for u guys

Peter: but also scared

MJ: She says she wants to meet me IN PERSON--

Peter: pls have mercy on me when you inevitably form an alliance

Ned: mj thats so exciting cant wait for you guys to get married and have kids!!!!

MJ: Please don’t ever say that again.

Peter: please dont give either of them the idea to reproduce

Peter: one of each of them is more than enough

MJ: Just admit you’re jealous.

Peter: im jealous of the fact that u guys have normal bedtimes

Peter: mr stark keeps sending me to bed at 9 and trying to feed me steamed vegetables

Peter: also i j realized i hate our group chat name?? can we change it???

MJ: No.

Ned: i dont like arguing with mj so the answers no sorry

Peter: ugh

Peter: Hello, MJ and Ned. This is Tony Stark. Peter needs to go to bed now, so he won’t be sending any more mesages. 

MJ: lol u spelled messages wrong i thought u were a genius

Ned: mj…

MJ: anyway gonna go text shuri 

MJ: gn

Ned: night! good night peter! and mr. stark sir!

* * *

“Bucky, if I see you Googling yourself again you won’t get screen time for a week,” Tony threatened as he snatched the StarkPad out of Bucky’s hands for the third time that day. Bucky blinked at him.

“I just wanna see what I looked like old,” he complained. “Steve’s doing it too.”

“Steve!” Tony barked. Clint flinched, and Tony took a deep breath. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. Give me your tablet and go put your socks on. I want to leave in ten minutes.”

“Fine.” Steve handed it over sulkily and stomped up the stairs. Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Is everyone else ready to go?” Peter asked, scooping up Wanda. 

“Yes!” Natasha sang, twirling around in her new romper that Tony had given her as an early birthday gift. She had been in a good mood all morning. 

“I want a cupcake now,” Sam said, more to himself than anyone else, as he put his shoes on.

“Cupcakes after the zoo!” Tony said. “Let’s go, everyone!” Natasha was actually vibrating, she looked so excited, and Tony decided that he was going to make this day as good as possible.

* * *

“So, Natasha, did you have fun?” Tony said, surveying the carload of kids as they ate frozen yogurt.

“The animals were nice,” Natasha said, shovelling crushed Oreos into her mouth and spraying crumbs on Clint.

“My favorite were the pandas,” Bucky announced. 

“My favorite was the giraffe!” Sam said. He paused. “Because it pooped and I saw- I saw the poop come out!” All the kids began shrieking with laughter. 

“Poop!” Wanda squealed. Peter was snickering too.

“Wait!” Clint interrupted. “Peter’s on his device. No devices in the car!”

Tony actually groaned out loud. “Peter, I swear to God if that phone isn’t away-”

“Sorry, sorry!” Peter said, putting his hands up. “It’s in my pocket now, promise!”   


“Good.” Tony pulled into the driveway. “Everyone wash hands and then we’ll do pizza and cake, okay?”

* * *

The kids had a sugar high and then an immediate low, but at least Tony had planned for it and timed it so that the crash would happen during the movie.

See? He was learning.

“Dad.” Natasha nudged him in the side. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Tony looked down at her, smiling as she cuddled closer to him on the couch.

“I have had birthdays before,” she said softly. “But they were never like this. So this is my first real birthday.”

Tony swallowed hard against the sudden lump in his throat. “I’m glad you liked it, Nat.”

“Yes. And I like the gifts you gave me-” she broke off and twisted her fingers. “But there is one more thing. I am only telling you because I trust you now.”   


“What is it?” Tony asked. “It’s okay, you can tell me anything.”

“Peter is in trouble.” She stared at her knees.

Tony glanced over at Peter, who was letting Bucky and Sam use him as a human pillow. “What do you mean?”

“No! Not our Peter!” she said. “My Peter.”

“Peter from school?” Tony asked. “What type of trouble?”

“He has injuries. He says he is just clumsy, but it is not true. I know the signs, and I am not lying!”

“Natasha, whoa, I don’t think you’re lying,” Tony soothed. “Do you want to ask him if he can sleep over some time?”

“Yes,” Natasha said definitively. “...Thank you.”

“Always, Tasha,” Tony said, his mind racing. What was he going to do about Peter Quill?

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've also been writing a new fic because i was inspired to and it's keeping me sane. who knows if i'll ever publish it, though. i want to focus on this one first.
> 
> let me know what you thought!


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